the grassy knoll

an empty

Screaming void

That has never been filled it’s

Really not the point

It’s more of the existence

Stale and over done

Dried out

Ready

To be ended in a final pile

Of sand

Desert comes in the final flight

Of what can only live on beyond

Death

There is no absolution for those too blind to the synchronicities presented before them to embrace that which has been given them freely

Let them be cursed

To struggle

And aware of what pain they cause

There’s nothing more cowardly than denying yourself a fate clearly laid down before you

Sweet and easy

Like the streets of the promised land

Dedicated to fulfilling your dreams

Nature to nurture

Nothing can ever be the same

There are never certainties

But there is always

The fluidity of space

And the contract

Of time

Communicating with other

Humans

Is far more taxing and

Complex

Than just sputtering out feelings

It is impossible

To put into words

All I wish to express to you

About you

For you

I guess I’m overwhelmed

You once described me as occasionally overwhelming

I know you were being nice

It’s impossible

To be this overwhelmed

And not be constantly

Overwhelming

I am content

To just sit quietly with you

Peaceable

Is literally

Your vibe

I wish I could

Steal it

Maybe I am copying you

I’m calmest when

You’re around

Even though half my

Anxiety when you aren’t

Comes

From worrying over

You

Maybe we really do fall in love

The way we fall asleep

Slowly

And then flat on our faces

Embarrassing ourselves in front of

God and everyone

I want you. 

Nothing resonates more harshly than those three little words. 

I want you. 

Rolled up and ready to smoke.

I want you. 

Tendrils wrapped around my heart strings. 

I want you. 

Like a 6th shot of tequila. 

I need you. 

Wet, drenched through and through.

I need you. 

Inside me, body-mind-soul. 

I need you. 

As if I have never experienced life before. 

long and elegant 

meant for better things 

nothing matters 

in the end 

I suppose 

snaked around my throat 

never gagging 

always ecstasy  

breathless 

and nothing else 

effortless and 

oh so breezy

nothing has ever made more sense 

captive heart 

and audience

clutched hands

throbbing chest 

nothing tired 

trite 

or trusted 

fledgling 

as the goose 

hopeful

true 

and breathless 

all I need is you 

pulsing 

yearning 

drenched 

moving faster all throughout 

there's nothing hanging here 

no hat 

no fear

no doubt

there should be some kind of warning label

on something so divine 

no one can truly capture

these pure fruits before they 

tumble off the vine 

snake your way inside me 

grasp my heart

watch me die 

reborn again 

into your arms 

alive through your heady sighs 

every inch 

molecule 

and hair 

stands at attention for your approval 

though it is already there 

they need to know 

you're here and true

not going anywhere. 

something a little different now 

as I find myself adrift 

I am anchored only slightly

by the sweetest and softest kiss 

a raging water pushes farther  

headfirst in the abyss 

tumbling to dawn's early light

far removed from bliss

lonely

so lonely

and left all on my own

you never understood 

couldn't see me 

refused to own

mind body soul

yours 

but not desired 

touched

or claimed 

once again 

barefoot and aimless

abandoned in the rain

buckets of tears add nothing 

to nothing 

when you're are no one 

does it matter? 

how you feel

or is it wasted effort 

practice in futility

parry 

advance 

yield 

force me back

beat me bloody 

call me names

a slut

your whore 

anything at all 

to leave me writhing on the floor

"you nasty little bitch

remember this 

next time 

you whore" 

I am throbbing 

screaming

wailing 

punish me 

some other way

for this I cannot bear 

I cannot handle 

the endless dire dismay 

Trembling 

in fear 

and shock

left staring at my shoes 

Ending up here 

Rather than on the news 

sugar honey iced tea

there is no accounting for my actions 

there is not here 

but grief 

and barren vessels for the 

breaking 

shattered amongst the dusted sands 

there is no redemption from fallen grace

only the sworn enemy of time 

the bastard himself 

death unto unbelievers 

for he will find them all in the end 

short tender shoots of 

green green grass

you know the kind 

that really smells

juicy fibrous stains against my ass 

master's bruises blending into a swirling tempest 

your hair is soft against the stormy sea painted underneath

jiggling against your slight movements

making waves 

something you've gotten pretty good at 

as my heart skips a beat 

when our gazes lock together in a moment of bliss 

the rolling landscape cradling us where we lay 

as fresh as babes

concepts such a time do not exist here 

where our eyes meet 

the moment that the waves peak 

crashing down through our captive core

threatened by my own desires 

conflicted by the pain of weakened resolve 

as the sun kisses my skin, the longing pools within me 

holding me hostage as you fuel my needs 

I want to beg

But there is no need 

Once again, you've either read my mind 

or we've so melted within ourselves 

Mutually aware

Slipping into me silently as we lay in the sunshine 

My thoughts awry

I contemplate your pickpocketing skills as your fingers deftly contort my resolve

Breath catching within my chest, your palm extends between my breasts,

Calming 

Release is not yours

My aching sex searches for the relief you can offer 

Her denial is my undoing and, writhing against the grass

My first curse to your name slips out 

Unbidden and deadly in the air between us 

Miniscule as it may be 

The small thrill shared between us at you having angered me 

Obedient as always 

Vicious nails bite your milky skin

Ass resting just above your strained cock 

The temptation is always volatile

A complete undoing 

The betrayal of our master

His rage palatable, violaceous 

As we dare only to lay once again in the sunshine

if I could only explode 

cover you in my gooey innards and lazily watch 

as you perform your sacred duties 

consuming 

cleansing 

anointing 

as I slowly slip away 

death becoming a close companion each night 

life the startling cousin who shakes you awake, screaming each morning 

my fingertips are never still 

constantly trailing and scratching at surfaces 

hoping to find you yielded beneath them 

trembling in anticipation of my discovery 

ripping away the façade of your skin

raw and exposed under the spell of denial 

reveal your bloodied and beaten heart to me 

offer me what little you have left 

so that you may be made whole 

shining 

bright and new 

under the startling screams of life 

each morning 

fuck 

fuck me 

fuck me raw and rough against the splintered deck 

the frogs are singing their never ending song and 

fuck 

so am I 

weightless and limp 

now propped against a railing 

pounded into a pool of dripping sex and sloppy seconds 

is that blood? 

revenge was never sweet 

but you are

sugar honey

iced tea

if you aren't the sickly sweetest 

forbidden taste of all 

he'll be back soon 

but you carry me back to the bed 

tenderly and sweetly 

letting my nails and teeth bite into you

sharing in my punishment 

our mutual shame 

the lock clicks and you bolt

but I want you close

fingers laced beneath the headboard 

trembling with anticipation 

maybe even fear 

sharing in the sweetest surrender 

you are my only temptation

oh, if only he were unaware 

my eyes give us away

searching for you in the moment of climax, even when out of sight 

clinging to our intimacy over master's use 

knowing he derives pleasure in denying 

simple separation 

keeping me frantic and in want 

long after he's gone 

you hold me 

battered 

and sore 

my thoughts wander to the act of rebellion 

the source of our punishment 

the cause of his rage 

I only crave more