2 years ago. September 16, 2022 at 4:03 PM
dumped
dragged
and discarded
flung out to dry
in the steady rainfall
how long could it take
to dry up tears
with a drenched rag
and an overflowing bucket
drowning in the downpour
that only seems to be above
a single head
the cure lies in your touch
the breath between your lips
and each rise and fall of your chest
captivating and damned
just the thought
maybe it's a memory
of a time so far gone by
thrills me to the core
staunch regret
at time poorly spent
away from your sticky sweetness
nectar from the flowers
sweet as dew in the morning
your tenderness
clings softly to the edges of my mind
soothing my frazzled heart
I want to wrap you up in flavored papers
inhaled completely
and savor the ecstasy of you
the whispered promise
of devotion
the terrifying concept of
deserving love
each molecule yearns to care for you
in the ways which will warm your heart
and fulfill your soul
my skin aches to feel
surrounded by you
captive hearts exploring
yearning together
the universe
gaping and screaming
begging me to be patient
as I long deeply
on all fours
before me
welcomed graciously into me
singing the praises of your efforts
my taxing heart
wants more proof
detailed accounts of
the promises you would keep
the steady mind
warns of titillations
as my desire
peaks
resistance is futile
against your tender allure
softness and comfort
filling me with a hunger for you
all of my compiled doubts
insecurity
and questions
become irrelevant when I look at you
you should be here
clutched tightly against my chest
soothing my frantic heart
with your tender care
denial of your pleasure
reaching a crescendo
as I fill my heart
from you
petulantly
I want to demand
but you
are a softer touch
and a gentler soul
whispering yourself
into the smallest parts of me
taking only what is offered
asking for nothing more
than I have to give
I'm not even going to try and organize this but I feel it should be said here, in the context where it will continue to take an effect.
Wasted my goddamn time. Wasted my feelings, my energy. Sure it's nice to know I can care but wow, fuck you. Lying? Of all the things you could do, of all the ways you could have tried to explain yourself. Lying and going behind my back to be with someone else is an insane concept to me. You're the monogamous one! I wouldn't have even cared, likely. You're a fucking coward, Travis. Willing to step aside and let go of something real and tangible, something that probably scares you. Everything you ever wanted. Let it all go, be alone. Let your life get ruined.
Stay miserable, you piece of shit.
you know, I always knew I was dumb
deep deep down dumb
unable to speak to it's cause
gifted
special
high IQ?
meaningless tests of an aptitude that was never mine
stripped away by
the fundamental degradation of fortitude
and forced surrender
none of it matters at the end of the day
when the fibers that are woven so tightly together begin to fray at the lightest touch
of my razor edged heart
sharpened by decades of
deadly indecision
and insecure attachments
to toxic behavior
instead of the better parts of those
who surrounded me with their
mud drenched auras
weighted and heavy around my shoulders as if I could cure them
of a disease
that lay dormant in their soles
no longer my cross to bear
my heart screams in delight as the weight is lifted
then becomes wracked with sorrow at a lack of direction
foundation
soul
my touch has grown callous and rough and
my self care
is damaging to the raw state of my feeble member
trembling and weak
she is at your mercy
yearning to be molded to your perfect match
claimed and owned completely
a part of myself I never wish to have back
free of the uncertainty
your solid standing
firm beneath me
around me
surrounds me
is a reassuring hand on my back
as I am guided into the pure ecstasy of your bliss
screaming your name in a chorus of exaltation
washed clean of all that is not of you in an instant
pure
yielded
yours
there are few and far between times
where the safety net exceeds my own anxieties
heart bumping from within my chest
as the little letters across the screen
reassure my aching nerves
better
loved
appreciated
the pool of desire within me is fed with every word
more than a fuck
or a crutch
or a mother
desired
wholly appreciated
seen
and finally heard
aflame with the comfort of home
and renewed desire to start something new
stretch and receive my reward
after the long wait for deliverance
into your bliss
the ecstasy of your perfection never misses
without I am
devoid
of true pleasure
my body laid waste under any others touch
words wasted on ears
overflowing of your resonance
laying in wait of you
alone
grasped and gasping
as your will over mine
releases all
hellfire
over me
pulsing
throbbing
at the limit
of how long I can hold on
clearly not long enough
before I’m too far gone
lost within myself
drifting out to sea
my sex aches
when I remember
how you can make me feel
without a touch
barely a word
knowing you’re far from here
doesnt seem to matter
when she’s ready
soaked and waiting
yielded to your will
braindead and
throbbing
freedom ringing through my skull
a symphony
of exquisite painful
bliss
my clit blushes
at the memory of
your sweet seductions
my core pulsates at the mention of you
a mere whisper
sets a blue blaze alight in
brazen declaration of my obsession
a craving
an indulgence
a settled passion
i have known you throughout lifetimes
and dreamed of our souls reckoning
mutual undoing
and shared surrender
Stop coming back for more
You fucking ignorant goddamn asshole
Stop reaching out for more
You greedy shithole waste
Stop fucking trying
It’s never worth it
Hasn’t been
Won’t be
Toss it all aside and ride on through
There is no other side
There just fucking is
And isn’t