I'm not sure what to write about anymore. This is the longest I have been single since I was 16 and I'm completely okay with that. I just feel like I am at a standstill. I don't do hook ups or things like that as I need a connection to feel comfortable around people. I haven't had a Dom in a while. I don't know what else I can learn and discover on my own. I have been to a few parties to watch and learn but I dont feel comfortable to go up and ask for a session. I want to continue learning.
I have done a lot online but I'm looking for more in person experiences now. There are lots of groups in the surrounding areas that have munches or parties but they are more sex parties. I want BDSM parties. I want to test my limits, try new things. I want someone around my age that has their life figured out, is confident, and knows how to say let's learn instead of no.
So the most frustrating part of where I am at is standing still. Not learning, not exploring. Just standing.