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Longer-Term D/s Considerations

Things unseen often affect relationships. This is a (perhaps infrequent) chance to look at some of them through the lens of a decade or more of online experiences with a variety of submissive partners.
6 years ago. September 27, 2018 at 11:59 AM

I like reading submissive women's profiles here and on other sites as well.  It is a sort of voyeuristic addiction for me, I suppose.

So I've noticed an odd sort of thing about the "Limits" section in  nearly all women's profiles here in The Cage which seems unusual to me.

Maybe it is just a sort of group-think thing, as newbies arrive and review existing profiles to see what is being said, and feel the need to echo the same entries....

 

Still, it strikes me as strange that  a very tiny fringe fetish which surely far less than one percent of Doms have any interest in at all  should be so prominently featured in almost every new sub's profile.   I'm talking about 'skat', or feces, or poop or just plain shit.

I mean, come on, is this really something that needs mentioning in almost every submissive's profile as something nearly any Dom they might meet is going to want to inflict on them?   Mightn't we all just assume that this strange fetish is such a rare thing,  and loathing it is such a normal thing,  that it need not even be said right at the outset in nearly every profile?

 

To my mind, the "limits" section might be better used for specific things which might be specific to that sub's  taste avoidance, like "no hairy Doms"  or  "No one under xx years",  rather than these blanket limits on things illegal or  scatalogical..

 

My own profile sets as "Limits" :    " Anything non-consensual, for either of us. ".   Mightn't that be enough?

There. Done venting, and back to my corner......

 

 

 

 

Bunnie - I kind of feel that way about people stating that children are a limit. I would like to think that that’s a given lol.
6 years ago
Bunnie - However... a rule that I do go by, is to never assume that my idea of something is the same as someone else’s. So it is always good to clarify, in my opinion.
6 years ago
Satindragon{Not Lookin} - Point taken.
6 years ago
Miss Magdalena​(sub female){FreeSpirit} - I think the last thing Aria said, which is nothing was a given, would be the reason I have one specific limit listed, which is children. If I list it then it lessens the chance I will have an interaction with someone who would desire such a thing. Despite how detestable I personally find it, and I'm sure a vast majority of others do as well, I know there are people out there that do not..and so up it goes. I think while it's nice to have a comprehensive list of what a person's limits are, I myself don't feel comfortable listing those things for the public. Why a person does or does not have a list could be from any number of reasons. Those who are curious will ask and those who aren't won't. Either way it's still a good way to filter out people you may or may not want to speak with. As to what you said Cap, I do think when people first come here, they may not know what to put. They check out other profiles and see what's there and use it as a template until they get a better sense of what to write. It could also just be they don't necessarily know what their specific limits are because they are fairly new and so use that as more a guideline. That is of course OK. Better to put things you KNOW you are not ok with then to try and guess what you are or aren't.. A lot of this is about self discovery and exploration anyways. I don't think one should have to feel forced to do one thing or another, just what feels right to them. =)
6 years ago
T slave​(sub female){Owned} - You would be surprised how many Doms also specify this as a limit in their profiles. Maybe its not as much a given as you think. SSC helps reduce limits but honesty once communication has been established helps eliminate confusion for both partys. Profiles are just an introduction and are personal and should be accepted without fear of judgement. I do however understand your point though because of the danger poop carries and play should be considered seriously.
6 years ago
Sensual City Girl{ForeverHIS} - Sometimes the most obvious is not to some and better to be clear than assume.
6 years ago
CapnRick​(dom male) - I thank you all for your thoughtful comments. I’ll just have to accept that the litany of potential concerns about skat , minor children and illegal activities is seen by most of you as a necessary declaration. Sigh.
6 years ago
CapnRick​(dom male) - Aria, Wasn't blaming anyone.....I just felt that a good bit of what gets listed as limits probably goes without needing to be said. Are subs really being asked to "play' with minor kids and poop more than once in a blue moon? Apparently (and surprisingly) so, since the consensus seems to be that these limits need to be posted before there is even any first contact made....or any discussion in private between the potentially consenting adults. And yes, If there is even one "Dom" out there who asks , I'd blame him...
6 years ago
I'mME - Some folks consider enema okay to be in the realm play of scat, also anal play has been considered to be in that same realm.

Food (😝) for thought....pun intended.
1 year ago

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