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Longer-Term D/s Considerations

Things unseen often affect relationships. This is a (perhaps infrequent) chance to look at some of them through the lens of a decade or more of online experiences with a variety of submissive partners.
1 year ago. June 10, 2023 at 12:47 AM

(I write from a male Dom perspective, but of course the pronouns can be reversed.)

Can there be anything as downright heart thumping for a submissive at her first time approaching the door behind which she knows her new Dom awaits?

Yes, they have texted, talked, phoned, and vetted.  He SHOULD be near perfect,  or acceptable, at least be causing no harm.  But who can really be certain?

Does he know his stuff, or is he another wannabe?  Is he a secret sadist, or will he ignore agreed limits?  Will I be safe or will he hurt me in some way?  Has my slowly developed trust been misplaced?  Can I feel safe with him when I am restrained, helpless?  In short, is he one of the good guys I hope he is?

Despite your very best efforts,  there are no absolute guarantees when finally facing that door between you and HIM.

There is nothing quite like it in the easy vanilla dating world.  So, when that door opens, and he turns out to be perfect for you, sensations over the moon, well--that's hard to match in the van world as well.

To those facing a first scene, or those facing a first scene with a new Dom,  here's my strongest hope  all those first meeting butterflies  disappear at his first touch, or even his first growl --that all the buildup, the vetting, the courage it took to get this far will all exceed your wildest hopes!

 

 

Beautiful eyes​(sub female){Taken} - It is ..... the nerves, the excitement.....the thrill...xxx
1 year ago
CapnRick​(dom male) - Thank you both, my special Cagers. I will be wondering if others might share their first scene experiences? I expect some were over the moon, and probably some were less than cherished!
1 year ago
SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} - I would hope that by the time the first scene happens, that there have been multiple vanilla dates, which would eliminate a huge chunk of the jitters.
1 year ago
Satindragon{Not Lookin} - The anticipation, butterflies turn into vultures as you drive. No matter how many times you've met in the vanilla world. Nothing prepares you for the first ten minutes on the other side of that door. You hope that all your worries are washed away with that first look or touch ..

Beautiful blog Captain..
1 year ago
Curiousmind​(sub female){Owned} - Mine was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life that i will treasure forever 🌹💕! You never forget your very first time. It was exactly like you have described in the last paragraph of your blog.
1 year ago
venia​(sub female){notlooking} - Yessss. I have been incredibly fortunate that my first meets / scenes with Doms here have gone incredibly well and they have both been keepers. There is indeed much talking and preparation, but you are right, you can never be 100% sure how it will go. I am thankful for the supportive Doms and subs who provide safety nets for each other in case things don’t go as planned.
1 year ago
CapnRick​(dom male) - Thanks, Curious and venia--emotional safety nets are always a good thing to plan for, as no one can tell in advance how well a connection will hold during that first scene!
1 year ago

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