Tersely Pertinent

Silvia didn't think the Great Hall was all that great.    

More like a mediocre hall, she thought to herself.  Yes it made a great entryway from the front door to the Grand Ballroom, but overall it was rather small.    But that kind of figured, being the overall building wasn't all that large to begin with and the Ballroom took up most of it.   But still, there was the entryway, the Ballroom, kitchen, even some small offices in the back next to the loading dock.

All the Elders had an office: Madam Webb, Marcus, Lord Bane and Matt's.

Goddammit, Silvia cursed to herself.   Goddamn it all to hell.

Turning around to look at the Hall, Silvia pushed those thoughts from her mind.   She needed a distraction and found it with seeing the refreshment bar was open and walked over to it.  She knew she wasn't going to allow herself to drink anything heavy tonight, but she needed something.  Anything to distract her and replace the fluid she lost with the tears.   

She also knew more tears would be coming tonight.  Many more tears.

As Silvia approached the bar, she saw it was maned by some of her favorite people of The Club.  Behind the bar stood a woman in a dress of shimmering emerald green, partially hidden by a mane of red hair down to the butt of the dress.   When Silvia got to the bar, the dress turned around and there was the face of one of the most beautiful women of The Club: Alexis.

Alexis was always a thing to behold, Silvia always thought whenever she saw the the woman.  Over six feet in height (before the stilettos), eyes to match her current dress and makeup that was always perfect.   Such a gorgeous, gorgeous woman.  It was hard to believe that during the day she was man named Steve who worked construction.   Silvia never figured out how Alexis got all that construction dust off so it didn't mess up her makeup.

When Alexis saw Silvia, she got that big sister concerned look on her face and leaned over the bar to kiss Silvia on the lips.  Silvia didn't mind though.  She didn't like anyone kissing her like that, except her Master.   But Alexis was an exception.  She always was.  

"How are you doing, Love?" Alexis asked as she moved her hands below her side of the bar.  Silvia could hear clinks of glass and ice and other things.   However, Alexis' eyes never left Silvia's face.   "I'm ok," Silvia replied. 

"Bullshit.  You wouldn't lie to me just for the practice, would you?"  Alexis shot back while bringing a glass from below the lip of bar and setting it in front of Silvia, on an available coaster.   The glass was filled with a clear liquid that was tinged slightly pink.  Silvia picked it up and looked at it then back at Alexis and asked what it was.

"Trust Mama, Love.  It don't pack much of a wallop,  but will help you get though the night.  But do drink it slow." Alexis grinned and leaned back over the bar to whisper to Silvia "I love you and wish I could take all this pain for you.  He loved you very much and I wish to fuck he didn't have to leave."   Silvia could tell there were tears in Alexis' eyes but they refused to flow, so the makeup wouldn't run.

The both of them could hear a sudden tapping on the other end of the bar.   Someone had picked up an empty glass and was using it as a hammer to get attention.   Still leaning over the bar, Alexis turned her head to the noise and growled "Bane, if you ruin my bar with that glass, very upset at you."

"Very, Very Upset".

Alexis leaned back to her side of the bar and walked down to the gentleman with the glass in his hand.  Then Silvia could see Bane in all his glory.   Lord Bane, really.  One of the Elders of The Club.   Maybe 5' 5" in height, pudgy around the middle ( he wore a vest to hide it.  It really didn't help). Although a sharp dresser in a tailor made suit of crimson with a black shirt.   But the overall look was marred by his pony tail he wore to distract from his bald plate.   He called it a "Skullet".

"Now Now Now, Alexis.  That is no way to talk.  Especially this evening.  What will lovely little Silvia think?"  Bane oozed with his silky voice.   "We need to be thoughtful of her feelings tonight.  Now be a dear and fix me my usual, wont' you?"   Silvia could see see Alexis roll her eyes and turn to get some bottles off the wall.   Seeing an opening, Bane attempted a glide down the bar to place himself next to Silva.  Silvia tried to turn to go, but felt his hand on hers.   Damn, she thought.

"Silvia my dear, please accept my condolences!  Your former Master was a great man and did wonderful things for The Club and for others.   He also did wonderful work on you.   You are such a great treasure and it will be a sorrowful thing to see you have to leave us, now that he is gone."   Alexis had returned and and placed a glass at  Bane's elbow.   However he did not pick it up.   It seemed to all involved that he did not want to remove his hand from Silvia's.

"Thank you Lord Bane.  I tried my very best for Him" Silvia returned while giving her hand a slight tug.   Bane picked up her hand and cupped it with the other.  "Oh my dear, this place will not seem the same without you.   Everyone, the staff, the guests, Everyone thinks highly of you and wishes you could stay. "

Letting go of her with one hand, he moved it to Silvia's neck and ran his thumbed the collar she wore.   "I would be happy to replace this tired, tattered thing with a collar of my own.  But say the word and you can remain with us as property of my own."

Silvia rested her head against the door and hoped the key would not turn.   She needed to get inside, but still did not want to go.   Dear Lord, she didn't want to go.    She didn't want her last time in The Club to be like this.

Not Like this.

Still, she raised her head and wiped the tears from her face.   Silvia knew the tears would flow many times tonight.   She had hoped that there would be rain, to mask her face from the others she knew would be inside.   But the skies were dark and clear and the streets dry leading up to the door.   I guess I should be thankful, she thought to herself.  He always hated rain at Furnals.  Even his own.

Silvia turned the key and the door clicked open.   Pulling the key from the knob and pocketing it in her skirt, Silvia knew she would have to turn it in, but she figured on doing that later.  Probably as the last act before leaving the club for the final time.   She was going to miss this place.   Too many memories, both bad and good.   The last outweighing the first.    Silvia smiled at that and crossed the threshold.

Closing the door on the inside, she turned and was suddenly hit by a solid impact.   Going "Whoof" and regaining her balance, she felt a sudden wetness between her breasts.  Silvia looked down and saw a familiar purple scalp nestled there  against her skin being shown in her corset.   The face belonging to the scalp was was buried there and accompanying arms encircled Silvia's waist.  Silvia could heard words and sobs coming but could not make them out.

"It's ok Pixie.  It's ok."  Silvia told the scalp as she turned Pixi's head so the girl could breath and rested her cheek on the top of the purple scalp.

"It'snotfair!It'snotfair!It'snotfair!" Pixie repeated over and over and over.   Silvia could not help but smile at the young girl holding her.   Even at 27, Pixie was still young, but not a "little".  Mainly inexperienced, but oh so strong in emotions.  Silvia kissed pixie on the top of the head and gently pried herself loose from the girl.   Holding her at arm's length, Silvia gathered her own skirt and used it to wipe pixie's tears. She even used it to shine pixie's nose stud to see if that would elicit a laugh from the girl.

Unfortunately,  it didn't work.

"Life isn't always fair, Pixie.  But we have to make due somehow." Silvia told the girl.  "We will get through this together tonight, the two of us and then worry about the world tomorrow."  She went to hug pixie again when she heard a voice off to her right. 

"Lady Silvia, we grieve with thee."

Silvia turned and saw Asheer.   More than Butler, Sargent of Arms or Head of Staff, Asheer was the focal point of Söt­­ëria, as The Club was formally called.    Not overly tall, but seemed so.  They were pale of skin, almost albino, but without the red eyes.   Asheer's eyes were the clearest of blue.  Crystal in nature, Silvia always thought.  No one knew if Asherr was female or male and really no one cared.   Asheer ran things for The Club and ran them well.

They held out their hand and continued with "Your Master was a fine man and shall be greatly missed by us, My Lady.  Again, we grieve with thee.  May we take your cape?"  Silvia turned to let Asheer take her wrap, but almost before she could undo the knot, she felt the cape being pulled from her shoulders.   She pulled the string and the cape took flight. Turning, Silvia saw Pixie with the it bundled in her arms, going "Let me! Let Me! Let Me!" and running off to the cloak closet.  She smile after the young woman and faced Asheer to thank them for their words.

But before she could speak, Asheer stiffened their spine even more so than normally, which seemed almost impossible to Silvia. Please not more platatues, she thought.   I'll hear more than enough of that before the night is done.  Just let me be.

But the words Silvia thought she was going to hear did not come of Asheer's mouth, instead they said "Madam Webb wished to be informed as soon as you arrived.  May we be excused to inform her?"

Silvia lips formed a hard line.   This is it, she grimaced to herself.   This is the beginning of the end.

"Please tell your Mistress I'll be waiting to be called before her here in the Hall."

Good morning all!   

First off, I want to thank all of you who have been reading my blogs about Silvia and and her world.    It has been a fun time for me and been helping with an issue I have been having.   I also want to thank all of you who have messaged me, like the posts and gushed about Silvia.   

I also want to say there is indeed more to come!   I'll be getting back into Silvia's thoughts here next week and will post more about her Journey.   Just a warning though:  The next set will be set a few years into the future and will deal with a great sadness for Silvia.    But she will endure.

So keep reading and thank you all again!

PS

Follow my blog!   Some folks have been missing chapters!

Is there such a things as a non submissive slave?     Did I miss that day in DomlyDom Class?

While there are not a lot of covers I am fond of, I thought I would post this vid.   I've been getting a good deal of questions were I got the name of my lead character to my story.    So here is where Silvia comes from.  

Enjoy:

So had a bit of time on my hands and decided to reorganize my tool rack:

What do you all think?   

Sorry to be clogging up the blog posts this morning, but not sleeping has also given me the opportunity to finish up a project I have been putting off for awhile.    This is what I call  The Bear Claw:

The head was given to me as an anniversary present.  It is super soft up to the chrome claws at the top. It was created by good friend who made a good deal of my leather toys.  The bad part is he never did understand how handles should work.   

So I ended up wanting to replace the original handle with this:

I can not wait to give it a try out!

Can words convey the simple desire to stare into a submissive's eyes, seeking what lies deep inside?   The thoughts, the needs that rest within, seeking to burst forth.   Do I speak of my own needs of being sadistically abusive with the tools of my trade, my hands and my thoughts?

What is it that I can lure you into my world?   To see the beauty and the tears that can rain down from a submissive's eyes while she looks up from below to beg for more?    More pain, more learning, more love. 

How is it that a man of humor and moderate intelligence seeks someone who understands there is more to the lifestyle than the next orgasam?  What drives such a man to want someone who will curl up at his feet and lay her head on his knee?   Someone who will take his pain and his love and his drive to make a submissive more?

Do words tell of the pain in his heart?  Pain of teaching D/s ideals to the shadows of yeasteryear, the pain of seeing old friends disappear amd no one taking their place.   

But....

Words do have meaning.  They do have power

and they do serve a purpose.

I am now as I have always been:  Simply a man seeking companionship 

TopekaDom, or TD for short.

Come, sit by my fire and tell me of yourself and your world. 

I will be happy to listen

Finally a bit of something that attracts me so:

While I do agree with Oceanic's premise and Love her  own replies, my own are somewhat different than hers and, certainly, going to be different than the rest of everyone else's.

To wit: My Three Demands in Life are....

1. Nothing
2. Nothing
3. Nothing

It is not that I do not agree with  those that make Demands.   They certainly deserve it, but my view point is way different.  

A long time ago, in my baby Domly days, I was given a great insight from a sub.   This sub had been involved with the lifestyle for a time and had met many a Dom.    So she parted this wisdom on down to me:

Be Commanding, Not Demanding

And there in lies the rub

Is there a difference?  

Of late, I have given great thought to this.  You see, for some time now I have found myself thinking of this person in great fondness.   We've know one another for some time and over that time, my fondness has changed to something else.  Today I have finally admitted to myself it is indeed love.  

Now you have to understand that "love" to me is something different than what most people think.   It is not a possessive emotion, seeking to own this person.   For me there is no "one true love".  The best way I can describe what I think of Love is Sean Connery and Christian Slatter's  lines about Love from the movie The Name of the Rose:

"Adso of Melk: Master? Have you ever been in love?

William of Baskerville: In love? Yeah, many times.

Adso of Melk: You were?

William of Baskerville: Yes, of course. Aristotle, Ovid, Vergil...

Adso of Melk: No, no, no. I meant with a...

William of Baskerville: Oh. Ah. Are you not confusing love with lust?

Adso of Melk: Am I? I don't know. I want only her own good. I want her to be happy. I want to save her from her poverty.

William of Baskerville: Oh, dear.

Adso of Melk: Why "oh dear"?

William of Baskerville: You *are* in love."

Seeing this scene in the theater, years ago altered my view on Love.   Back then I, indeed, confused Love with Sex.  I would often tell women I loved them get to laid.   But this scene showed me how wrong I was.   Yes Sex was fun but Love....Love was something to cherish.  Something to honor.   

But still, something confused me:  What is the difference between Loving someone one and Being In Love with someone?   Does being In Love require the act of Love be returned?   Before my change of view on the emotion, I often fought with the demon of Unrequited Love.   But, after my conversion, I understood this was a thing with no power.   That Loving somone was my own emotion and it was foolish of me to need them to return it.    Not only foolish but selfish.

Still, when I spoke with others about this, often some of them would ask: "But are you In Love with them?"

Then and still now that question confuses me.   I don't understand the difference.   Is there one?  Does my philosophy of Love require a difference?  Is this something I really want to think about?

After all my years and all my thinking and feeling.....

I simply don't know.