Barbie Dreams

Here's the daily social anxiety video. 41 year old woman with autism.  Warning: this one is political and doesn't represent anyone else's view but mine.  It is also not racist or discriminatory and if you haters flag my post because I don't want to date you, thanks for proving my point.  I do these most days while I can to get over social anxiety and improve my verbal communication.  My kid is yelling at the dog in the background for stealing the cat's toy, lol.  Have a great night folks.

Here's the AP article.  Btw, if you don't know, many of these charities are corrupt too.  Not saying this one is...

Unrelated hip hop video because it's been stuck in my head for a week and a half

I'm exhausted.  Dropping off my video and running.  Thank you to anyone who checks it out, I appreciate you.  Night

41 year old single mom with autism. I make these videos to deal with social anxiety. Today I try to discuss why I'm suspicious of male feminists. I didn't explain it well on this video, but what I mean is that I don't want to be treated equal to a male. And that's my understanding of what they mean by feminism. I feel like it's a push to take femininity and protection away from women and give men an excuse to treat women like crap. I feel like 'feminist' men are attracted to us initially for our beauty and femininity like other men, but they don't want to support environments for us to actually embrace that role and thrive. 

We all have masculine and feminine energy and both are sacred.  It seems like only masculine roles and energy are valued by feminists and society.  So we have to do that second shift or third shift if we have to be 'equal' to men, keep a home, and want to cultivate our femininity. 

I'm really busy right now so I don't have time to write anything to future me.  I did cancel my Atlanta trip to visit shay because of the dog.  I'm secretly relieved but I love that woman and she is my best friend so I'm also sad.  Here is the video.  I have to work work and also work on the business today still so not much time to write.  

I hope anyone who reads this is doing well and achieving what they want to achieve in life.  must go bye.

Dropping off my video.  I'll be up all night working - I'll be online a little bit too here and there but I'm still not feeling super social.  Sometimes late at night I get energy and shit changes.  I went out last week one time and I'm done for at least another month.  It was a good experience and did not kill me.  I don't know how people do this leaving the house shit regularly. 

Today's song is more cardi.  I don't buy into this women vs. women BS so don't ask but I'm a barb too.  This video confuses the hell out of me to be honest.  I listen to hip hop, but I'm an outsider folks so get mad at me if you need to.  But if Offset didn't cheat and call himself a pimp all of the time (including in this song), Cardi wouldn't be fighting all of the ladies he fucks.  Not that you should ever go after the other woman.  That makes no sense either. 

RIP Takeoff I don't like to talk shit, especially toward someone who lost his bro, but she's wayyyyy more talented than him.  She snapped he mumbled.  She looks great, he looks mid.  And they post it on his channel.  I hope they are happy and he actually reformed himself for Cardi and those kids.  Not my business... now I must give my opinion to companies who actually pay me, not famous musicians who give no fucks and don't know I exist.

I hope everyone who wanted to leave the house did so and had fun.  And shout out to my fellow introverts enjoying their alone time.

Here is the somewhat daily social anxiety therapy video.  I'm making some progress, although a lot of what I said didn't make a lot of sense.  I get nervous in front of the camera and my speech skills still kinda suck.  I think I'm making some progress with my look.  I want to get my hair fixed, extensions, and maybe lose 5-10 pounds.  I want to stay thick because I love my curves, but losing a bit of weight will help me fit into some of the vintage and La Perla lingerie I want to eventually model.  

Please don't make fun of my shitty apartment.  I mean you can, but that means you suck.  And when I went on the mini political rant all I mean't was that I am apolitical I don't engage with folks based on their political beliefs. Kisses and hugs from very far away because I don't fuck with strangers xoxoxoxox :)

Dropping off the video.  If you know me, I have no mechanical / mr. fix it skills but I did successfully use an auger and fixed the garbage disposal.  My cat is in the video...I am not trying to showcase her, I know you folks wanna see the dog but she's an introvert.  My cat is a sweetheart though and needs attention!! lol.  Shabbat Shalom

It's Tisha B'Av so I'm writing this sitting on the floor in my non-leather shoes and I've been fasting since yesterday.  Not working either today because it is seen as a dangerous day to be doing anything but mourning.  We are not supposed to be going on to BDSM internet sites on Tisha B'av, writing or manipulating electronics.  I do take this religious stuff seriously, but like most other religious people, I'm a hypocrite.  I believe in G-d and I am a person of faith, I just don't want to comment on whether or not I think G-d cares if we do the most towards worshipping him if we can't get our own shit together as humans.  And as an autistic person I can exempt myself from pretty much everything mitzvah-wise if times get tough so I'm going to gan eden haters.  

I do reserve the right to switch my opinion and be an uptight frumer than thou a-hole at any point.  I'm also working on being a better liar in case I must battle my psychopathic ex.  The fucker is a diagnosed psychopath, don't get mad at me and he has consented to being in this blog.  and we have a great relationship as long as you people don't tell him I'm learning manipulation techniques to defend myself!  He will laugh but then he will plot harder.  Thank you.

I didn't post my social anxiety video from the other day because I actually left the house to watch the baseball game and got faded.  Then I rapped "earned it' from sosa while I was walking home.  It was too embarrassing to post even for me.  I've still got ego left and the social anxiety therapy formula seems to be a delicate mix of breaking myself down while preserving my unfounded and ridiculously high self-esteem.

Anyone who is fasting or is logging on later after fasting I hope you had an easy fast.

Here are the SF Bay Area travel tips for the dudes who keep wanting to visit me out here.  And for the five guys who said they would move here to be with me, lol.  Highly recommended.  Not posting a hyperlink so y'all can see I'm not trying to hack you (that shit's real though and be careful folks - download ubuntu for starters)

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/1HuZpBsSo7c

What I've learned from this Tisha B'av is to not be jealous of others, treat people as respectfully as I can handle without getting annoyed and giving others the benefit of the doubt.

Well, I have been studying and have had one successful interaction with my ex and I'm not trying to let it get to my head.  Here is the social anxiety desensitization video.  I may even go out tonight friends.  It is supposed to be a week of back luck for jews but so far I can't be mad anymore.  I'm going to buy some black AF1s I feel like a bad bitch ready to put in some work.  I am not putting in any werk I'm a middle aged Karen.  This is the first time I have empathy for all those weak ass fake internet doms who don't want to show their face online.  I think he'd laugh though plus fuck him.  Love you please don't expose me today thanks I love you (in a non-specific way)

Cash me outside today perhaps.

Fat ass middle age karen crew is in the house workong from home winning today!  Put it on the floor I cannot.  I will wear whatever jammies you want though not just the leather ones

Dropping off the video and going to smoke some legal weed from the legal weed store that I got for free from the illegal bros.  They are not illegal immigrants I don't even believe in borders and I'm still up in the air about nation states.  I meant my friends.  I love you for that -  I'll send you my thottie nudes oh crap wait I already put those on the internet for free. whooooppps. 

Also guys that message me to hook up please stop.  That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  You want to treat me like a ho.  you are the ho.  Here's the youtube video I know I look crappy and the camera shakes but I just bought the bobbi brown makeup book and I've been experimenting.  Peace on earth good night. -JB or SJG or whatever none of those are my real names.

https://youtube.com/shorts/LKn1px-I3Cc?feature=share