She has given me more in 4 years than anyone else throughout my entire life up to this moment has.
What is that you may ask?
Why, her heart of course! The very thing from day one I told her I wanted and would not settle for less than.
To be clear, she gives me her all daily. Wherever she may find herself, she still digs deep to give me her heart.
To boot, she is oftentimes deathly afraid to do so! She has triggers, traumas, insecurities, doubts, and fears just like any other human. Yet, for all of that, she has a self awareness that is an integral part of her caring. She sees her fears and takes ownership of them. Seeking to never project them onto anyone else. She does this because she cares for herself firstly, but also because she believes it is a reasonable way to ensure she is giving honestly to those whom she loves.
She submits in ways I was even unawares would bless me.
Her care has not looked anything like I believed I desired. Yet, her authenticity has moved my soul and challenges me to be the best version of myself.
When I thought I wanted a submissive tied to the bed for my personal physical use at my whim she softened my edge to show me my fear of intimacy.
How, you may ask? By simply being soft, gentle, demure and sensitive in her femininity. Her tender heart asked me to protect her, to be nurturing instead of disconnected. In this, she was just herself. She didn't go out of her way to manipulate or cajole me into being something I was not. She simply showed up and asked me to meet her, with bravery in her heart that I would not reject her for the tender soul she is.
This is just ONE of MANY ways she surrenders!!!
She builds a home with her hands. She is deeply passionate about providing for her people the things that they need to stay healthy, content, and at peace. She knows her limitations and honors them, but what she is able to do she does with absolute joy and pleasure.
She is fierce, strong, capable, no-nonsense, intentional, deliberate with her heart. She has violent boundaries that are meant to protect the ones she cares for. She would NEVER let someone haphazardly harm her or those within her care.
She knows how to say no when she believes it is not in her best interest.
She knows when to speak up respectfully when she has a differing opinion or believes something is amiss.
She handles herself with grace, poise, and character in the face of SO many who would seek to jeopardize her heart.
Not many may know this, but I am not easy to live with (not sure many dominant men are! 😜). I am someone who is very open and inclusive with others whom I believe can use support or encouragement. Someone who has navigated challenging spaces with other female submissives/slaves as a friend. When they would 'fall in love' with me (even when they were married! 🤯) and she just 'knew' in her intuition that was going to happen months before it ever did. She has maintained her poise, grace and love.
She has been afraid in these spaces. Triggered. There have been advances made by others that pressed on some pretty uncomfortable traumas within her. And she has just dug deep and clung to her care, desire, focus and love for our connection and me. Never allowing anyone else to dictate for her what she should feel or believe about her dynamic.
She has sought my reassurance and believed it. Trusted it. Felt it. We have had some exceptionally difficult conversations but never lashed out at one another. Never blamed or projected. She has never accused or guilted me. She sees my heart is to care. She respects it. Even if there are times she does not understand why I would make some of the choices I do to converse with others when in her lens they clearly want to take what is hers from her.
She has seen my devotion to her here. That does NOT mean she is not scared at times. It means, when she is scared she pulls herself close to me and seeks comfort, and she receives it. Her fear may not always be quiet, but she faces it. She looks at it and takes the steps she knows to help her feel safe.
She continues to deepen in her submission. It is evident in every choice she makes. I think the worst thing a submissive can do is make choices to please their dominant because that is what will please their dominant. I personally do not want only your obedience. I can train a dog to go pee outside, that's nice and is helpful. But you cannot train someone to care. To be devoted to a healthy character of personality. Or to give a shit from an honest and authentic space. That is either a part of you that you willingly choose to expand and become more and more in touch with deliberately or you live afraid and do not (and yes, having someone there who is a safe place for your heart to land absolutely helps!).
She has seen for herself her own need to be a caring, soft, gentle, heart-centered individual. She has witnessed her own inner turmoil and fear to being open and willing to care for others. And she STILL recognizes the value in facing that fear to deepen her own submission. Because submissions WAY more than following the rules. Hell, we all must follow rules. That's easy. What is challenging is following because you love to. Because it blesses you and brings you warmth, comfort, joy, peace, and contentment to do so........FOR YOU. It is another thing altogether to discover that piece of you that simply wants to nurture, serve, love, and care for those closest to you with the deepest fervor. Despite her fears that tell her she will be abandoned, or used, or neglected, or taken advantage of she steps into her surrender because she KNOWS the alternative is to be closed off and never really the person SHE desires to be.
She does not want to be someone who is afraid all the time.
She is not someone that wants to be disconnected from those around her.
She is not someone that seeks only to have her needs fulfilled because that is 'safe'.
She seeks to fulfill her own needs by opening her heart. For herself. For her fulfillment.
She has discovered her heart is safe right here, right now. She has discovered that even if she is let down. Even if she is hurt. She has herself. She is not going to go back to being someone that chooses to hide and abandon herself.
She does not want to be hurt of course. And she trusts she will not. But she also accepts quite honestly, if she is, it is out of her control and she need not fear what is meant for her growth.
She is a powerhouse!!!
She has a strength I have rarely seen in any person (including within myself!!!).
She does not see many of these things.....she is ever humble. She's just a 'normal' person in her eyes.
So, I write these things to remind her. She is anything but normal. And that is beauty and magic to me, and everyone around her.
She can go through the motions of what I expect of her. My demands of her (though my list is exceedingly short). It is another thing altogether to be a woman who expects of herself to care. Who holds herself accountable to being a woman who has a sensitive and huge heart and extends it to those whom have earned such.
I believe that is the strength in honest surrender. As her dominant I do not have to ask her, or structure her to death to be mindful, anticipatory, giving, or loving. I get to nurture her to being so because it is authentic to who she is. I get to encourage her. I get to hold a safe space for her heart to navigate how she shows up and protect that same heart when it is feeling scared or tender. I get to love her. Purely. A submissives natural response to authentic dominance is to open their heart. Little by little, absolutely. As the dominant can be trusted, no doubt!
My glory, my benefit is NOT in what she can do for me or how I benefit. It is in the privilege and honor it is to witness her coming into her femininity and find her voice and strength. By extension I benefit...... absolutely. She loves me fiercely because I allow her to be her feminine self. Because I do not judge her expressions, or her mess as she learns to navigate in this new surrendered way. I just get to cheer her on. And she? She gets to feel safe. She gets to discover who she has always wanted to be........a sensitive woman that does not fear her own heart.
She may bless me with her love, make no mistake, it is an absolute blessing to be able to receive a submissives pure heart. However, I feel as a dominant a sense of responsibility that she feels safe to be herself throughout her whole life. Not just at home in my arms.
She is a force to be reckoned with.
She is a beautiful human.
She is more than what she does, gives, has to offer.
She is a submissive.
There have been times when she has doubted if she was able to surrender.
Moments when she questioned her capacity to submit. She would measure herself against others who would show up in some fashion and know she could never do so, and she questioned her own capabilities.
Today, she has discovered her own uniqueness. That giving her heart and serving in the ways she does is violently submissive. It may look different than others, then again it should!
We each have a different heart. We are each moved in unique ways. The things that we find valuable and surrender in are every bit as important and necessary as how anyone else shows up.
She very rarely compares herself any longer. She has discovered and continues to discover her unique voice and the power within it. The things she has to share and the heart with which she has to serve are vitally necessary for the collective. Especially to those whom are in her path, because that's why she is there!!!!
She has shown me more of her heart in the last 4 years than all the individuals I have ever known thoughout the course of my life up until now put together.
She is MINE.
I hope you find encouragement, support, and grace today.
Namaste
Drago and Amethyst
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