Inside every woman is a little girl that longs to be free.
Many have hidden this piece of themselves. Feeling too unsafe to allow anyone, let alone their own selves to acknowledge that they just want to be seen in their totality. For many women, this isn’t about my little pony and coloring books. It is just about being able to be vulnerable enough to trust their partner to hold a safe space for them in their raw pure innocent self.
In BDSM we call this little space.
I readily admit I know personally only a small amount of what that space looks like. I am not a little. Even if I were, I would only see my own vulnerability and act upon it how it resonates with me. Which would invariably be different than how another experiences and responds to their own little.
Nonetheless, I express from the dominant side of holding space, encouraging and creating a safe container which allows a woman to show up in their vulnerable self. I also preface this by saying this is what I have personally experienced, what I have witnessed, what I have discovered in my time within the community. Your mileage will vary greatly based on your own interpretation and vehicle within which you journey on your path.
Let’s begin with the mind.....
As a dominant, you have probably heard begin with the mind. Intelligence, maybe even more so wisdom is sexy. Meeting your partner in the depths of their mind, patiently and attentively, purposely digging to hear their thoughts will begin to show them that they can trust that you will listen to them. Receive them. Accept them.
This is more than lip service. Do more than just listen.....hear them. Know them. Learn them. Make it your mission to study them. Remember facts, pieces they share with you of their point of view, likes, dislikes......in short, give a damn. This isn’t about achieving a set goal. If all you’re after is to make them yours....however that looks to you.....what will you do when you achieve that? There must be a longer lasting more concrete way of owning your property. Ownership is deeper than simply gaining a goal you have silently put up for yourself. Once you achieve your goal, set another, and another, and another. LEARN your partner. Invade their every thought.
Their heart is the key.......
Holding your partner’s mind, thoughts, intentions, dreams, hopes is the start. It will allow them to feel your intention. It begins the creation of a safe container that she can feel comfortable within. But......none of that will matter if you’re intentions aren’t pure. Which is the ONLY way you will ever attain her heart. Otherwise, she will always hide something from you. And you will be about as far as you can possibly be away from encouraging her little girl to trust you.
A little is pure. Pure trust. Pure devotion. Pure passion. Pure excitement. Pure acceptance.
A little doesn’t know how to question motives. They’re in a child-like innocent wonder of you. You’re their protector in ALL ways. They MUST be able to trust you implicitly or they will NEVER trust you at all with their most vulnerable self.
That vulnerability is the depths of their heart.
If it is not your intention to include love into your dynamic.....it is possible you will only receive “parts” of your little. They may roleplay with you but will have boundaries (or should for their own well-being) because they will not trust you. Not with their heart. It’s one thing to trust you with a scene, their physical bodies can heal from the bruises, but their heart can suffer WAY more.
If it is your intention to love your submissive. Then her heart is the only way you can. Again, and even more so, this requires deliberate, purposeful, honorable, and integrity driven choices. Only when this woman knows in her bones that you will be there and you adore her.....ALL OF HER.....will she ever feel even a little bit comfortable to show you her pure self.
This will be a very awkward place for her at first. She will feel naturally shy. Timid. And want to hide. A part of her will feel dirty even. Here is the thing......you MUST know this one truth.....she so DESPERATELY wants to show you her little girl. If you have seen pieces of her, this woman LONGS to let you see all of her. But, your work has just begun. You must continue to hold a safe space for her. She must be able to trust you’re not there to manipulate, cajole, use or abuse this fragile part of her being.
Personally, I have been witness to this truth. I have watched a submissive want so desperately to let go of their little girl with me. Only for them to not feel comfortable to do so. This may have been the container I created and held for them wasn’t safe enough for them, or they simply were still too scared, or, as I choose to see it.....I wasn’t meant to see their little girl. It wasn’t meant for me. It belongs to someone else. And I honored that. I took what that submissive allowed me, and found comfort in knowing I wasn’t what she needed fully. There was another out there that resonated on the same frequency as her little girl and she would one day find that individual.
Every submissive woman has a deep and rich longing to be able to let go fully. For some, it is about paci’s, coloring books, stuffies, jammies, and bubbles. For all, it is about being able to be their most authentic selves unapologetically. No matter how that is expressed. Many littles may not desire to use naptimes, diapers, outfits, special beds or pig-tails. They simply may just want to be their vulnerable selves however that feels good to them. They just want to be free. Liberated from the constraints of being perfect. Or being in charge. Or having control. Or maintaining this facade that truly makes them tired. It simply wears them out. Whether they choose to be a wanton sexual being they have desperately longed to be allowed to be with no judgments, no fears, no “fixing” just accepted. Or they want to sit quietly in your lap and cry uncontrollably because the weight is just too much. Or they desire to laugh uncontrollably, be the little girl that just can enjoy and let go of all the concerns. Or they want to watch childhood movies, ignore their hair, put on comfy clothes and just chill. ANY of these, all of them, more.....if she trusts you to see her in this place, I promise you there is nothing this woman wouldn’t do for you. You bring a quiet to her mind, heart, soul, body in ways she wasn’t even aware she needed. You have captured her soul. Her very being is yours.
Now........what will you do with it? How much is it worth? Where will you take her now that you own her totally? Because this.......this is just the beginning.....
I pray today you discover your own purpose. That calling which is only meant for YOU. Your uniqueness and individuality that no one else can imitate or recreate. May all of your dreams continue to grow with you.
Namaste
Drago and Amethyst
