She is the bravest person you have ever met.
She is strong.
Independent.
Capable.
She does not demand anything from you.
She is broken. In ways you cannot understand or see. She has the most alluring smile. But those eyes.
Do you see? The times she has cried because she's been hurt by someone’s failure to live up to their own promises. It started when she was very young. Her parents never noticed her. She was always the one in the way. What was so wrong with her? Did she not deserve to be loved? In so many pursuits she undertook she sought the acceptance and love she believed was for her. She never gave up hope. Over and over she would be hurt. It would make her hard. Cold. At times bitter. As years passed she let go. Let go of the idea that she would be accepted. So she worked on accepting herself. And struggled. How could she not be acceptable? She discovered that physical pain was a pleasure. It was nothing to endure the physical to find solace with the emotional and mental terror that was her own mind. She will never tell you this. In fact, she can not see it. She does not look at herself this way. She sees damage. Unending faults and blame. Never enough. Not pretty enough. Not tall enough. Not smart enough. Not schooled enough. Not kind enough. Never enough. This is her cage. The one she is bound in and can’t escape. Trust is very foreign to her. She can only go so far. She wants so desperately to be free. Free from herself. Free from her own fear. But has grown to be comfortable. Of course it makes her miserable. Do you see? Right there, in her eyes……that moment of glimmer when she is sparked by hope only to see it fade as if a candle was blown out.
She has hope, but can not believe.
When she calls you master, daddy, lord, sire, sir, dom, top…….do you see what she is giving you?
Do you see?
All the hopes she has ever had to be accepted.
All the fears she has that she wishes to be free from.
While you are NOT responsible to deliver her from herself, she has made a choice in you to support her. To see her. To guide her. The fragility that is her heart.
What will you do with it? Will you play with it like so many have done before? When she resists, and oh how she will resist, harder than you have ever experienced, will you prove her right and walk away? Will you have the resolve to be exactly what she believes you to be? What you say you are? Her master, daddy, lord, sire, sir, dom, top.
You choose this lifestyle. Do you know what you are choosing? The perils that await you? The tears you will cry. Not for your frustration, because if that is where you are you are failing to be what you said you would be for her. Rather for her, because you see the freedom she longs for and you yearn for her to have it so badly. And you know, because you have learned for yourself, the road to accepting and letting go is fraught with heartache and revelations of what you are truly made of. The resolve to just be who you are. Letting go for what you want may be something you take for granted. You are a man. You can do it. Damning all who say you can’t. Proving them wrong. But when you are quiet, when the noise of the world, all the applause and boos can not be seen or heard, when you are honest with yourself, how far have you really come in understanding the focus it takes to be who you are despite the pressures to be what anyone tries to make you? She is counting on you. Depending on you. If you say you are a master what are you a master of exactly? Because if it is not yourself first and foremost you are master of nothing. If you can master your integrity, your honor, your passion, your selfishness, your own personal desires to see another person, a submissive, kneeling before you, arms stretched forward for you and you “see” her pain, her mistrust, EVEN IN YOU, because of her fears, Because of her hurt, Because she is who she is. AND you can still love her. AND you can still extend your heart to her even though her fear hurts you personally. AND you can see the damage her fear and disbelief do to her more than it does to you. You MAY just be at the very beginnings of discovering what it means to be a master.
She is terrified.
And is the bravest person you have ever met.
Who are you?
Namaste
Drago
