I have, often times in my past, tried to explain myself to others.
Maybe this has been born from the myriad (most) people that have never understood me?
Maybe this is because most do not want to take the time to truly get to know me before they judge me?
Maybe because no one ever asks? No one ever seeks to have a conversation with me about what they think they know and understand about me but will, for some unknown reason, never come to me and actually seek me out for the truth about myself.
More likely because I was taught to be codependent. You cannot perpetuate codependency without causing others to feel as if they NEED to explain themselves. Such is society today.....hell, it is a HUGE piece of social media in all its’ various shapes and sizes.
Learning to be ok with where you are. That others along your journey will judge, scoff, ridicule, point to what they see as faults, negate, power trip you, guilt you all in the name of what you ‘should’ do or be. Because they cannot approve of you as you are. For whatever reason. Discovering who you are, standing in that space and allowing others to be themselves, even when who they are is judging you without knowing you, is a unique challenge.
Because you cannot point to how others judge you and shun you without knowing you and then write about how others judge you without simultaneously risking judging them without knowing them!!!!
I have been guilty of this. Guilty of taking personally another’s choice to see me as they do. Regardless of their reason.
If they believed my actions were this........and they were not that, so what?
If they believed what someone else told them about me, but did not come to me to find out the honesty, so what?
If they believed the way in which I showed up was dangerous, so what?
Are we not all allowed to make our own judgments for US about what we approve and agree with in our lives? Making personal judgments is NOT the same as make a blanket judgment of another person. It is simply stating, “This does not resonate with me.” We are allowed.
Yet, so many (myself in the past included), take it as a judgment against who we are as an individual, and then lash out from that space feeling as if we are somehow wrong as a human.
Wrong to show up like this.
Wrong to believe this.
Wrong to look like this.
Wrong to like what we do.
Wrong to think as we do.
Discovering how to find a place where we like ourselves just as we are will shift all of those concerns.
Admiring ourselves for having the courage to walk through all we have and still show up is important. To honor our uniqueness. To celebrate our voice and not allow anyone else to define for us how it should sound.
To rid ourselves of the pressure to please others, so we can reveal peace in our lives.
Doing these things then fosters an appreciation for others willingness to stand up and draw a line in the sand for themselves that says, “I choose not to surround myself with that kind of energy.” Because it is their choice. Their life. Free from judgment on validity or merit of their choice.
Why?
Because you yourself discover the inherent need to create boundaries around whom you allow in your sphere based on whatever criteria you need that makes you feel safe.
It is, learning to appreciate you. Learning to love you and the life you have been given. Honoring it with light, hope, enjoyment, pleasure, positivity, healthiness however YOU define it.
Embracing that affords you the opportunity to release the need to explain. For others to ‘understand’. You applaud the rights of others to choose what resonates with them, just as you enjoy doing so for yourself!
IF others choose to marginalize you out of anger, frustration, judgment........so be it. That is their choice. And really, why would you desire to have those that would do such in your sphere? Would they not always somehow blame you for some way that you showed up that they did not agree with? How exhausting would that be????
You get to define you. Not anyone else’s idea of who you ‘should’ be.
I encourage you to embrace all you are. To love yourself, all of you, right now today. Because, the truth is, it is the only person you ever have to prove anything to.
I hope you find lasting peace for yourself today.
Namaste
Drago and Amethyst
