Hello Friends!
Today I would like to discuss a sort of coalescing revelation around our choices that I am discovering.
The short of it is this:
Any choice we make for someone/thing else that is not in alignment with our purpose is a waste of energy and more often than not people-pleasing. It is a poor choice that takes from us more than we have to give and keeps us from being our truest selves.
Analogy:
A hammer is a versatile tool. It can pull nails or drive nails in a multitude of applications. Drywall. Framing. Siding. Roofing.
No matter how you slice it though, its purpose is for nails. No matter how much the user might wish it to be something else. It is good for leverage, or hammering. Even then, there are diverse hammers for each job. A framing hammer is not good for sheet metal work in an auto body shop. While a soft brass faced or ball pean hammer would be used where they would be no good for framing.
A dentist would have little use in their profession for a hammer of any sort. I dare say, if a dentist pulled out a hammer while you were in the chair you would exit said establishment post haste!
The point?
We each have a purpose. A usefulness that is well-defined. To pretend we can do more than we are built for is hubris and an exhausting waste of our time. It behooves us to be in alignment with what we were built to be. To not allow anyone else to define that for us. To not allow anyone else to convince us our usefulness (which is often a mask for what they want from us) lies over here or there.
This idea is EXACTLY why it is important to know yourself before we include others in our lives in a very intimate way.
Because we can become shackled to the ideas others have for us that they believe we are meant to be (for them), while also putting similar expectations on those around us.
Real-life example:
My purpose, in a nutshell, is grace. People are confused what that means. They often believe grace is all fluff, love, gentleness.....aka......pushover. I do not deny grace can include gentleness, love, and compassion. Grace is, however, not just those tender things. Grace, by example, is a parent allowing their child to choose for themselves, with the parent knowing full well will end catastrophically. It is NOT that the parent will not attempt to gently encourage them to consider a healthier alternative. It is that if a parent truly loves that child they will extend grace and allow them to make their choice and suffer the consequences of that choice, right or wrong. AND, on the other side of that choice, grace extends the same love and encouragement WITHOUT JUDGMENT. That is what grace does.
Do you want a rope to hang yourself? Cool. You do you. On the other side, I will be here to tell you that choice was dumb but you are not. I will sit with you and help you pick yourself up. That is grace.
I cannot tell you how many people find fault with this. Nearly everyone. Because they believe it is a 'duty' to save someone from themselves. They cannot fathom allowing someone to make a mistake that will jeopardize their happiness/peace/money/safety, et cetera. Mostly because we ALL wish to save ourselves from such calamity even though it is impossible, and ultimately, good that we cannot.
I do not.
I know damn well that we ALL must learn through some tough lessons. While it may seem a 'good intention' to save someone from such a fate (as OUR lens sees it, not as it honestly is). Caring for someone is allowing them the growing pangs that are necessary for their growth and maturation because we ALL come to our purpose by navigating those things that do not serve us and getting rid of them.
Ok, Drago, I hear you. I may not agree fully...but I see what you are putting down. What else have you got?
How many of you have given something to someone in your intimate relationships for someone else?
Whether that is sex when you did not want to, or, agreeing to keep the peace?
Was that giving in alignment with your purpose?
Was it honest?
Did it come from you as a truth? Or was it something you gave because you believed that is what they wanted from you?
Was it then truly authentic?
Would you say that was healthy for ANYONE involved?
Was it something you did to 'save' the connection? Because the thought of not having what you get from that connection being threatened because you showed up as yourself fills you with a sense of loss, anxiety, or dread?
Why do you feel you are not allowed to show up as you? Who is stopping you from being yourself?
If it is others not wanting you to show up in a certain way except XYZ, is that really who you desire to be connected with? Where you are not allowed to be who you are?
Easy to see that as misaligned people-pleasing when you look at it through that lens is it not?
Much harder to step into being your most authentic self!
The following may sound harsh at first......try to suspend judgment and open your heart to understanding if you are able, you may see it in the end.
Being in my life, one will quickly learn, that it is my way or the hiway when it comes to my life and journey.
NOT because I am a dictator.
NOT because I say so.
NOT because I am dominant.
Because I am going to pursue my purpose regardless of who is in my life, NOTHING is going to shake me from what I believe I am meant to do, say, be. If you wish to enter my life intimately, I make this very plainly known. I am going in this direction.......if you wish to come along......fantastic! So long as you wish to partner with me, add to my world by supporting me on my mission and vision.....GREAT! I welcome it! We can never have enough support. The moment you feel some-kinda-way about a choice I am making and you try to change my choice I will tell you outright to back the fuck up. This is MY life, right or wrong, it is MY journey. I have lived my purpose for more years than anyone else has. These are my shoes, I walk in them, no one else. So quit assuming you can fill my shoes better by making a better decision than I can.
Does that mean I do not value counsel or wisdom from others? Or that I do not make mistakes?
HEAVENS NO!!!!
As I said, we can never have enough support!
Those whom I trust I seek counsel from. You earn my trust by supporting me being me. You lose it by trying to come in and take from me my right to screw it all up.
Why in this world would anyone sign up for such a connection?
My track record.
The evidence of my success.
The visibility of how living my purpose benefits those around me in tangible and real ways.
The proof of my alignment is right before your eyes.
No, not all will find value in such. That is understandable and ultimately expected. For those that do though.....why would you not want to partner with me? My success means your growth, success, wealth, and health. It is a no-brainer.
Now, to some, that may sound narcissistic. I can see why you may be thinking this.
However, let's look at my purpose again.......it is to support others. To help others take back their power. To own their gifts. To remember their potential. To rediscover their true selves. To see others succeed at being their best.
Grace.
Whether that is through my coaching.
Mentoring.
Friendship.
Blog.
Conversations.
Relationships.
That is what I am here for. That is my purpose.
Also, all those requirements I have?
I encourage all those in my life to have as well.
It is not something I ask for but I do not give.
Did you notice that all the things I require are all the things my purpose is here to support or encourage others to discover?
Ask Amethyst. She will tell you. She may not be able to enunciate it in this fashion. I GUARANTEE, however, she will express to you the power she has discovered of her voice and continues to rediscover.
Or, better yet, go back 4 years in her blog. Read where she was. Read a couple from the following year. Hear it from her own words. She has grown and continues to do so. In large part (no, not at all simply) because of my presence in her life. Today, she is learning to extend the same to others. She seeks to empower others as well as only she can. In her way. According to her purpose. That looks very little like mine, which is glorious!!! I love the uniqueness!!! She will touch and reach people I cannot ever, nor should I, they were meant for her journey.
If I were to make ANY choice that Amethyst wanted me to make for her that was not honest or authentic for me that I did not believe in I would be doing her a grave disservice. I would just be trying to 'get along' with her. Keep the peace as it were. I would not truly care about her or her growth. I would simply just allow her to stay stuck where she is, I mean, some of those pieces would be better for me, wouldn't they? I would much rather love her enough to speak the truth to her and empower her than to feed into our natural human nature to be complacent and 'take it easy'. I do not, and never will make the choices for her. She deserves the respect of her journey being hers. I am, in NO way trying to 'change' or 'fix' her. She is not broken, and needs no changes to be loved where she is!!! I also know when she sees herself not being in alignment and desiring to find where she belongs I get to support and encourage her to find her voice. I do not get to decide what that looks like. That is not for me at all. But I want her to be her truest self....for HER because it means HER peace. HER contentment. HER success in life.
The honesty is, that no one is stagnant. We all evolve. Kicking and screaming or not. I just happen to align myself with this growth reality and be a piece of it for the health and support of those around me. Because let's face it, sometimes life is brutal!! We get kicked in the face out of nowhere and wonder what just happened!! It is in those moments having someone like myself as a support becomes invaluable.
My purpose is to remind every one of you that your purpose is vital and necessary. Being in tune with who you are designed to be means your fullest and most fulfilling life is realized. ANYTHING that takes from your voice, your will, your passion, and desire seeks to own you for their/its benefit and not yours. It will make you small, and how you will rebel may not readily be understood by you.
Do you feel less than?
Like not enough?
Like your potential is not yet realized?
That you are uncertain of who you truly are?
Do you feel lost?
Are you scared to step into who you desire to be?
Are you happy to just give your power away to others who want you to be someone that you truly are not?
Do you allow too many others to dictate to you who you are supposed to be?
Are you making choices that are not fulfilling your purpose?
Do you know what your purpose on this plane is?
What choices are you making today that keep you small, and unrealized?
What choices are you making that disregard your potential?
Are you living for everyone else except you?
You were built/designed for a reason. I truly hope you realize what that is today.
Namaste
Drago & Amethyst
2/15/2024
