ScratchPost

he tells me he's been raped. hes been sold...
and I listen.
I tell him I've been raped, I want to take it slow, and wow. he blocks me. oooook thats not a dom. there is a man without emotional control, without patience or respect on anyones time.... possibly someone looking to just make a buck off of someone... is that really how you want to make your living?! I guess he assumed some things about one of my posts rather than having the courage to ask questions. 

impatient people go dry your laundry outside. save the quarters for a better place.
impatient people do the dishes by hand, the way your grandparents did it

Impatient people learn how to cook food from scratch and sit down to eat
impatient people  go plant a garden so you can spend your money doing something else
YOU and YOUR potential partner may like.
impatient people even in an apartment, or in a tent in the woods you can still plant something indoors you can eat. learn how.
Impatient people. stop being imps. maybe stop being people. 
be a humman bean in this here garden party.
Impatient people, learn how to value your your partners life, feelings,and time.

there are good reasons to take things slow to watch plants and animals grow.

you know.

Walking to into the restraunt they saw her, could smell her blood, the scent of trees surrounding her.
she was wounded in places no one could see. they could smell the sickness surrounding her, see it in her aura with their animal scenses.
they were shifters, together moving as a pack.
she smelled sweet, like organic Dragonfruit, pears, trees , and fear.
they sat together, watching her.
she had called them telepathically, seeking healers, those who ate as she to heal effectively.
overworking her body, it had started to pull from her bones, her teeth, to keep her alive. she understood she could heal, she knew she needed strength from others.
she walked out of the restraunt, and out to the park across the street.
they talked amongst themselves about other things while they ate, agreeing mentally to speak of her later in a more private setting. as members of a band, they traveled often and wanted to enjoy being out of a vehicle, outside enjoying the sun and other people.  the food was good. they were all glad to be home again.

They worked together, in one of their garages, two of them  working on designs, then creating a bed frame,with thick wood and metal designs, earthy, decorative, and easy to bind her to.
another shopped for a new mattress.
another walked his backyard, a forest really walking next to the stream, the property on the fringe of the national forest.  He held her shirt he had taken from her nest the day before, thinking of her healing, he closed his eyes thinking of their future,  his lips on her cheek, sliding over her arms and  neck, allowing the others to sing to her naked body bound to the bed as the sun and stars shared their magic with her exposed soul. Shifting from humans after binding her, as animals they sang healing tones to touch and caress  her naked body... healing her body and soul,
Uvumilivu nzuri paka, tutakuja kwako hivi karibuni

He finished tying the knot. Soft rope binding my wrists. Covering my eyes with a silky black blindfold, his skin sliding onto mine. Are you ok? He asked freezing making my body miss his movement 

'I trust you'

I smile

he sits frozen for only a moment finding pleasure in his tongue on my clit finally understanding what its like to have a tongue treasure my clit first as a feast. I am split between his tenderness and the rage against all men  

Later 

My fingers bind his wrists. We withhold the blindfold. The knife slips over his skin so softly as was done to me by another, my tongue taunts his neck tenderly.  the current of rage for the man raping me as my sons life started to fade fill my bloodstream along with other nightmarish memories manifest making it hard to see the man bound before me...

with the knife he gave me for my birthday I slice the side of his neck.His oceanic eyes filled with frienship,love are the only thing controlling this current, guiding the very thin thread of love left in me  safely to shore and to harbor. In that moment I learned to love him. With that scar carved into his skin sacred deep rooted self care soul healing my heart. My tongue trailed down his chest kissing lower. His penis my paper my tongue his pen, I carve in his wood my name loves his name. With a warm  wash cloth I tend to his wound, unbinding his wrists we fall asleep tangled in tenderness.

Every other man trying to slide his lies in my ears into my eyes I am deaf and blind to, seeing only his scar, hearing only his heart beating blood for my tongue tasting trust and tenderness all over again

I called him My Demon. though he had a gargoyle tattoo on his back I loved to make out with while he laughed. he listened to ICP and had a tattoo of them too somewhere on his body... that seemed alot more like a demon to me... (I never made out with that one)
one night he came over, bringing juice he had made and some other stuff for the food I had made. 
we ate, and went back to my room to lay down. we had spent weeks cuddling on the bed. I had super horrible nightmares back then that made it really difficult to sleep so I invited him over to I guess "tuck me in" or just have someone to SLEEP tangled up in.
I wasnt really ready for sex being surrounded by religious people telling me how wrong it was to have sex before a weddding. I didnt feel ready for a kid because I was in school at the time.
I remember getting tired after making out and kissing him all over his body, and having him do the same to me.
I remember him pinning me down thinking I'm not really ready for this but not being able to speak.I remember trying really hard to hit kick and bite him but not being able to speak. we wrestled for about an hour having him bite me back so many times all over my arms as he put the party hat on and played with my pleasure palace. he held me for a while afterwards, leaving after. I remember thinking how much I ENJOYED wrestling with him. I dont know if it was just what was in the coolaid he brought over, but no one ever told me not to trust the food or juice a man brings over, just dont go to bars and dont drink. dont do drugs. I've learned alot since then.
I had class the next day, I wore a white tank top, and jeans. black and blue bruises and bite marks with some skin torn away and scabs from blood COVERED my arms and my back.  I didnt know about safe words then... or actions. when I started to claw him, bite him it was to stop him from taking off his pants, from going farther than I was comfortable or ready to go because I couldnt say anything when I tried.
I wore a tank top because I felt really good the day after, I felt like though it went farther than I wanted, I had fun. it was ok to bite him, he bit me back... I enjoyed that aspect of sex could have just been the coolaid...
I remember though, feeling really happy the next day, motivated, and excited to go to class, something I hadnt felt in a while. I wonder sometimes 
 My professor from one of my class pulled me aside after class seeing my arms, asked who did it to me, and was I ok. who could he call for me.  I said yes. I was great. That was the best sex I had ever had. I wore a tank top to show off the marks because I enjoyed what happened. my professor (a man) didnt look at me the same afterwards...
I didnt see The Demon  for a few days. I dont know how he looked. I bite pretty hard too. ;)
what I do remember is that no one in my apartment wanted to be around me, no one would talk to me, my neighbors  classmates. and the 'friends' that lived next door wouldnt answer and didnt come over.
that was the only time he and I did that. I dont know if anyone else found out said something or anything to him... but I remember thinking I wish we had done more of it. 
what I do remember was I had fun that night and the day after with sun on my skin. feeling primal and powerful in a way others didnt  seem to understand.
I remember I felt like I had to break up with him because my social needs were not getting met. I had to go back to church because my roomates, my friends wouldnt talk to me... and as The Demon and I were not serious, I needed the social connections.
I sometimes want to go back to that moment and try it without drinking the coolaid, and the food he brought.... but I wonder, would I know what I like that way? 
would I have this sense of validation and acceptance of primal lust or love? 

*scribbles note leaving it where all can see it on the tree*
gone to celebrate the trees their wisdom, their beauty, their magic ALONE
three or 4 day trip. no time to check messages.

my dark brown dreaded roots cascade into my face as I rub his penis rubs under my clit my brain explodes
a woman begging to be released from chains. I am stuck in her body resisting the cold steel with a stone wall in the back. 

I feel and see her blonde hair over the face as she struggles with her body on the floor as if her hair was mine.

he whispers in her ear
"You need this, dont fight me so much, I'm not going to hurt you. you need this, I'm going to make this feel good for you'
my rhythem thrown off my eyes open wide while I shove his penis inside of me hoping this scene will go away. it does and I thrust him deep inside of me raking my hands down his arms

Later, as he drives watching sign of friendship 82 miles away come and go outside the truck I hop up front to sit next to him from the bed in the back and ask so, with any of your slaves or subs did you ever restrain any of them with metal chains?
yeah he says
tell me about it I say as I offer him figs and eat a handful of sunflower seeds sprinkled with turmeric and comfrey.........

claws and paws mix and tangle
skin slides away jingle jangle
jingle bells and cat tails
bear paws and tails today
can you imagine the shift 
and mental control rift
of a cub born of both breeds?
is this really what a cub needs?

think carefully as you slide along wet reeds
pounce and play this year
as your chakras and aura balance and clear
heal your heart and heal your mind
love of self and lifemate flame you can find
honor Time it takes to heal
scars you cannot feel
allow friendships bond to heal my soul too
we may not be stuck as glue
domanance is such a dance
alpha male at a glance
rapist another angle of a photographers eye
*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight*
voices loud of both curl
third eye truth unfurl
drink patience like a broth when ill
sleep, dance laugh what a skill
breath deep another day
for you have the right to play

Wise Men say
Only Fools Rush In,
So I can wait to fall in love (lust) with you
Will you stay, oh will I stay too?
would it be more fun?
If I did wait to fall in lust with you
as the river flows 
surely to the sea
darling so it goes some things  Arn't meant to be
But hold my hand, I'll keep my heart (for now)
cause I can wait to fall in lust with you. 

Mi Quiero A mi Misma, Ammo me Stessa, Ma Iubesc, ek is lief vir myself, Une e dua veten, Je meme, is brea liom fien, mwen renmen tet renmen, mwen apresye tet mwen