Unbosom?

8 months ago. March 18, 2024 at 12:13 AM

I’m watching a podcast about dopamines , which leads to the discovery of other, related topics. So that's where I’m at ... .and I’m watching about, BPD. Borderline personality disorder. Firstly, the stigma, and misconceptions, of this disorder has led to the persecution, cruelty, and death of many, many people. They aren't being burned alive and tortured so much nowadays, but they are still being misunderstood, persecuted.

Here is what got me. This disorder GREATLY impacts relationships. Not just the person who has the disorder, but the other person as well.

Here are just a few symptoms, descriptions of someone with BPD.

-Fear of abandonment

-Unclear self image

-Rapid swings from idealization to devaluation, anger, and hate, leading to unstable relationships

–unclear or shifting self–image,

-Impulsive, self-destructive behavior

-Extreme emotional swings

Imagine a 3-4 yr old who is really upset at having been separated from or facing separation from a beloved caregiver, and this child is really coming unglued, becoming both clingy and complaining, or clingy and punishing. They want, very intensively, for the caregiver to stay or come back, but also angry at the caregiver for separating.

is normally a very sweet, interpersonally engaged, very sociable temperament. Combined with lots of sensitivity to what's happening outside of them and what's happening inside them. And oftentimes has a fair amount of anxiety.

Constant insecurity

A drive for reassurance as an external source of internal stability.

Convert that into adult form and you have a small idea of what's going on with a person with BPD.

There is so much more to it, but I am trying to keep this short and sweet. And of course the disorders extreme vary from one person to the next.

Here's my question…. Someone who is aware of and has a good understanding about their disorder and the challenges they face in forming relationships, are actively looking to make new friends or date. Online or otherwise, at what point do they disclose their disorder? It really is a must have, make or break kinda conversation. I wander the same about other things like mental illnesses, impairments or disabilities, ECT.

IDK, just something that got me to thinking.

I appreciate unz for reading,

Love and

Light

Xsky(switch female) - This is always so hard. I have family members with BPD. Each one is different. Luckily they have found their lifetime person. But dating was difficult. One was lucky and found theirs in middle school so they grew together and face each day as it comes.
The other had been in many toxic relationships until finally late 30’s, she told him before their first date. The first few years are tough. And the toxic relationship have caused more damage so they are always on a rollercoaster but patience and knowing/understanding gets them thru. Plus family knows and it’s helpful to have the support system.
It’s really about finding the person who understands. When to tell someone I think would be when your the one with the disorder and you trust that person not to judge you, plus you know it’s time for the make or break conversation before the relationship goes further.

8 months ago

Jack in the box -
I would say upfront, in a casual way, but upfront so theyve been told - and a little later re-visit the topic.
Great share Lady, thank you 😌🙏🌹

Vacquero one(dom male) - Well framed and articulated. What you say makes perfect sense Lady Stone. Most valuable perspective. Speaks to this Dominants want of creating a safe harbor for his One.

7 months ago

Vacquero one(dom male) - To answer the question… I hope the new and on going communication between two individuals, learning about one another offers comfortable, open, honest dialog which renders the proper time and context to share that and so many other things.
Slow and steady always seems to be fast :)

Eye-C(dom male) - It's always best to be upfront and reveal any psychological issues. Just to add a plus here....very often people with BPD treasure a welcoming gestures, be it a warm smile or an invitation of some kind. Welcoming gestures are a natural counterpoint to that history of rejection and or abandonment....

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