I have been “vetting” a Dom and speaking to him about his views, thoughts, experiences, etc for a couple days now. I am not shy when it comes to wanting to know about a person and understanding why they say or do what they say or do. I want to know the WHOLE person.
So the topic of my past came up, brought up by me. I have a sordid past and even though I have worked through much of it I still get triggered. So when I brought up being abused he shut the conversation down fairly quickly. Saying he had to go grocery shopping and would talk later. I did not think anything of it at that moment but something began nagging me as the day went on.
He messaged me hours later and I refrained from bringing it up just to see if he might say something. He did not but beat around the bush and brought up a fantasy of his. He started off by saying he wants his babygirl to be pure and innocent, to be a virgin and never have been touched or abused (especially sexually). So his words were, “I know you said you have a past but I don’t want to know anything about it and would like for you not to say anything.” When I asked him to explain he did not and so I said that wouldn’t work for me. We parted ways.
How can anyone be in a relationship with someone, especially a D/s relationship without knowing the whole person? What if during a scene he/she is triggered? What then? Does anyone else think this way? If so, please explain. ***No judgment zone!!***
