The stars have a beauty about them, that was never meant to be captured. You ever noticed how the stars, are these bright burning balls of gas and fire that glow hot with fire? How they can never be captured by us or anyone or anything else? Yeah, there's purpose in that. How many of us would capture such a thing of beauty, just to hide it away in our home, for our own personal satisfaction if we could? I am sure a good number of us. Yet, were forced to wait patiently as the Sun's heat fades, and the night sky appears before we can enjoy their beauty once more. Not to be kept or captured, but to be adored, and loved simply for the peace and beauty they bring, shared and shown off to the world, never hidden away for the single individuality of one person.
I believe this is how we as a submissive, should live. Not to be captured and hidden away from the eyes of the public, but to be shown off, and admired by all, while knowing they can never touch or have us, because we know where we belong, where our fire resides. A single individual or perhaps more than one individual, depending on the dynamic, capable of holding our fire, and stoking its beauty to new heights everyday, showing us off to the world, but being the only one/s able to handle the burn of the flames that we truly are. Our submission is a gift, our partner rewarded with such things not because he has earned it, or filled some "role", but because we understand that without their control or dominance we might unravel at the chaos of the world, yet in their arms we find safety, love, and home in the world they have carefully crafted for us.
Slowly I'm learning that control is a thing of beauty, especially when it comes to myself. I burn brightly against the night that surrounds me, because I see my worth, and the past need to have a man by my side constantly, dissolves like stardust trailing after a fallen star. Its the patience in waiting to see when and where my partner will find me. when he will finally come to claim what was his to begin with. Control in knowing that he may not ever appear, but the knowledge in knowing I am content to wait despite that fact. Control in being able to bring myself to pleasurable heights, until his touch can take over, and bring it to new heights that can't be attained, but by his hands and skills. I never knew how brightly my soul could burn, never truly understood what the scalding heat of my devotion and passion could bring, until I began and dived into this journey. Yet my attention is held, all the same, by my own discoveries that draw me deeper into the want to learn.
Meditation has become a favorite nightly routine. Creating silence in my mind, quieting the raised sounds and voices of the world around me, to the sound I create in my own mind. The quiet sound of a single drop of liquid hitting a lake of water beneath it. The ripple of out its power and energy moving out from the power and energy of its decent. My mind is such a powerful tool, that I have come to admire. It is said that not everyone can hear their own voice in their head. That some people are incapable of seeing a movie play out or hear the voices of the characters in it when they read books, that they simply see mental images. How sad that must be, to exist in a world such as that. People now find me strange, as I find myself speaking my mind more and more often. Speaking in a way that leaves them shocked and a bit stunned, when I use and choose my words carefully. Often times, I express exactly how I feel in ways that you only see in movies or books. I, in turn ask them....why not? If I am truly to have someone understand me, why not speak from the soul, say what I really mean, and use the words that burn through my mind revealing the genuine intellect of my knowledge in the use of those words. People often refuse to speak like this aloud for fear of reprisal from another. Yet I find, that if people do not approve that is their own fault, not mine. I refuse to be held back or burdened by the inadequacies of another. I have no time to coddle someone who cannot see my worth, and seeks to dim it with their own insecurities.
Honesty and transparency are two things that I have learned I crave and demand without apology. So many people in my past have kept things from me, with lies, and false representation of a mask to hide what they truly think or feel. No more. If someone is to be a part of my life I want to see the real them. The monsters and demons that crawl through the darkness of their soul, the truth of their actions and feelings whether it leaves me burned by the heat of it or not. I am an individual with an analytical mind. I can forgive a truth quicker than I can a lie designed to hide the truth of a mistake made. My mind often seeks to understand the reasoning behind a mistake made, rather than judge the person in the heat of the anger in that moment. I am self ware enough that I can push back my own emotions, and seek to understand what happened and why. Lie to me, and I will show no mercy in cutting you from my life. I use to tolerate such things, but not anymore. I am a path that will be tread upon with light steps that leave no damage behind, will gentle understanding and guidance, or I will be the path beneath your feet that begins to move until the damage you cause is erased with ease, as you are swept away from my path with a devastating force of power and control , never to be allowed to returned.
Perhaps someday, I will finally be gifted with the touch of my true owner, the man who is to be my home, or perhaps I am destined to be alone, either way I am patient and will continue to wait. My control is my knew found strength. A strength that shines with the brilliance of the stars above us. Until next time my friends.
A song the makes the fire of my soul burn brighter: