Its, true. I have made a decision. Oh, the joy and pleasurable delight in knowing what I want won't be denied. Not even by myself. It makes me laugh> You know that delightfully guilty as sin laugh, that draws people in and makes them want to ask, " what's so funny?". Did I mention I was a greedy little thing unashamed in my journey thus far. Nothing is off limits to me now. Mmmmm, yes its true. So greedy in fact that I want two. This bitch is going poly.
I was thinking last night and tonight about what I really want. Sat down and journaled for an hour, listing things I have decided I simply won't live without. Unsurprising to me is the profound hardcore fact that I want two men. Two Doms. Two controlling set of hands, two men giving me orders, two men fucking me into oblivion, two men that are absolutely obsessed with owning me. I don't care how long I have to wait. I've said that before, and I will say it again. Over and over until it sets in deep. I don't care if its one, then another coming in later. If they both come for me at the same time, welllllll, even better.
Double the protection, double the obsession and possessiveness. Double every fucking thing. Why? Because I fucking can, because I want and need it. I've spent my whole life catering to other people. Giving my all in relationships that always ended up burning to the ground. Relationships that always left me wanting more. Dark desires, even darker secrets. I might be a bit unhinged, in my wants and needs. Taking without apology can become quite addictive. Fuck, I want that reverse harem situation. To be owned and claimed so many fucking times it leaves a girls head spinning. Can you just imagine having all that to yourself, knowing, your their whole life and obsession, to get to come so many times your absolutely destroyed by it. That when one isn't there to take care of you , another will be. Fuuuucckkkk, its so god damn hot I can't stand it.
Lets fantasize for a minute. Your dripping wet, your body aching and needing to be filled. One Dom is at work , the other watching you from across the room. Perhaps he sends off a text to the Dom at work, " Our girl is aching to be filled right now". Oh yeah, he knows, because he watches your every move. Notices every sound you make, every whimper, every clench of your thighs. Your other Dom, he's watching you both through cameras set up in the house. " Make her beg" he texts back. The Dom across the room moves towards you with a predatory grace that makes you burn hotter and harder. He's gonna make you beg so fucking prettily, and all the while, your other Dom's watching every single minute of what is happening to you at those hands that you crave on you so badly, only to take you for himself when he finally does come home. No jealousy....between them. But let another man touch what is theirs. Best believe there will be hell to pay. Can you imagine being taken by both of them at once. What about being held down and tormented by one, while the other takes what he wants from you without apology or mercy.
Hey, I get it. Its not everyone's cup of tea. It is so my cup of tea though. Every delicious inch of it. Women often say , they don't know what they want yet, and if they do, they back down from it. Letting the world tell them they don't know what their talking about. They don't understand. They aren't ready. Its a mistake.
Nah, I know exactly what I want. I know exactly what I am asking and begging for. I know it would be almost impossible for one man to give me everything I want and need at all times. I'd probably break him, making him try. Its true one man might satisfy me for a time, but not forever. How do I know? Lets just say that even in the few good relationships I had, I was picturing others added to the relationship. problem is, is I've noticed a pattern. A horribly sadistic pattern. Once men have me, and get a taste of everything I have to offer, things change. Suddenly they want to keep me to themselves. They don't want to share. Oh yes, I am that fucking good. Yes, I have brought the idea up in relationships before. Some reacted normally with possessive jealousy telling me no, while others reacted violently, putting me in my place as they called it.
So no, this isn't the first time I've wanted it. It is the first time I've decided to claim it. Lets get darker. I will tell you too, that two men being obsessed with each other just as much as they are me is sooooo fucking hot to me. I might have a little cuck queen in me, because if they tied me down and made me watch them pleasure each other, holy hell they wouldn't even have to touch me I'd come on the spot just watching. Cause damn. Hey to be fair, I have warned all of you over and over again that I have a very dark side. Would I be happy with two Dom's not touching or wanting each other? Of course, that's their choice their right. I'd be happy just to have men who want only men. Wouldn't a woman be insane not to be? I'm just saying I'm not opposed to it.
I know I'm no the only one out there who fantasizes about this shit. Booktok girlies, kinky girlies, and a whole lot of other women want it too. Less stress in taking care of a woman. Two incomes, three if she works, is a whole lot less stressful than two people struggling to get by. I think you will come to find that polyamory is becoming more popular and natural by the day.
Now I know your wondering, some of you anyway. Soul what about another woman? No. That's not my thing. I'm a jealous woman. I'm also frighteningly possessive and borderline stalkerish when it comes to my men. I don't wanna share. That my territory, mine and mine alone. I don't want another woman in my kitchen, or cleaning my home. Consider me an alpha female. I don't share, ever. I use to tell men I'd be ok with it, because I wanted to be pleasing. Wanted to do anything to see them smile. No more. This is my life, and my journey. Not your kink. Move the fuck along, cause I don't really give a fuck what you think. My days of self sacrificing are so far gone, and I will be unapologetically me. My lies are gone, the filter removed. I told what I hade to hide, I fixed my mistakes. Now I'm gonna revel in being wide open....... Til next time my lovelies.
I want it all.....: