It's been a while since I've written something here. A lot has happened I think for most of us. Being in lockdown due to this latest Pandemic which we currently have to life with. But this is not what's weighing on my mind tonight.
Tonight I'm laying here in bed wondering. Wondering if my search for my One true Dom will actually ever happen. I'm sure most of us has had our moments of doubt. I am a very patient person by nature, but I cannot help but feel whether I will ever find that special One. I am not a difficult person and dont expect the impossible, but sometimes we actually do have to face reality.
I was in a brief relationship with someone which did not last that long. After years of being single, I decided to give this man a chance in life only to learn he was a cheating, lieing human being. I have only been completely open and honest about every aspect of my life and even spoke to him about my choice in looking for someone who is open to this lifestyle. At first i was judged by him but he then decided and told me that he overreacted. We never got to experience all the good fantastic things this lifestyle has to offer. Instead he kept on with his deceitful nature.
I'm just sharing this part as It left me wondering a little more. I will not change my way of thinking -I will not be pushing aside this lifestyle I have chosen, but I cannot help but wonder if this will ever happen. I dont expect much from anyone. Just being to communicate, trust and understand each other.
This brings me to this question waying so heavy on my heart tonight.......
Do I continue hoping that one day I'll find my Master/ Sir to whom I will submit completely or do I give up the search and hang on the side like a wallflower, just observing and make peace with the idea that that special one will never come my way....
Life is short and we need to enjoy the journey. Maybe it's bettrr just making the most of it by yourself. But then again, there are many of us who choose that they would prefer having that one special person to share our hopes, dreams and fears with.
This is the time my mind is working the most - nighttime. Being all alone in bed and actually missing having that special person right here next to me.
