Some helpful tips for new Dominants... Part 2
6. Real Dominants can eat pussy. Real Dominants can suck cock...
The notion that Dominants don’t or shouldn’t perform oral sex is one of the most ridiculous rumors that has ever been started. As if the mere act of putting your mouth on someone’s genitals denotes submission or a lack of Dominance? Dominants can take it up the ass too, if that is what they're in to. It doesn’t matter what you do, or what you enjoy, as long as you're true to yourself. Sexual acts do not define a Dominant. The mind does.
7. Not all women are submissive. Not all men are Dominant...
If you believe that, I’d like to introduce you to a few people who will bear personal testimony to the contrary. Do not default to the notion that scene orientation, or lifestyle choices, are defined by gender. Or that their career choice defines their play style preference. It does not. And your time in this lifestyle, especially if you interact with the public scene, will be a lot easier, and a whole lot less embarrassing, if you accept and incorporate those facts into your psyche now. Never predetermined what somebody's sexual preferences are for them. As you will almost always be wrong.
When in doubt, ask. Or just wait for them to tell you. Just never assume.
8. Honor everyone’s relationship dynamic..
Many people have many different dynamics and protocols in this lifestyle. When in doubt, revert to tip #3. But also, once you have been made aware of them, do not dismiss them simply because you think they are silly. In reality, they may be in your opinion. But if you are going to be or want to interact with individuals who have a certain dynamic/protocol, there are only two options. Either honor it, and they're by showing them respect, to gain the ability to associate with them or if you don't want to, or can't, do that just don’t deal with them at all. Since that is what they have decided for themselves, your opinion will have little or no impact, other than showing them that you have no respect for them. So complaining or whining about it will do nothing positive for sure, and more likely something negative will come of it.
And who knows, one day you may develop dynamics or protocols that others may find strange. Think how you would want to be treated in that situation and then behave accordingly.
It’s funny how there are those who will ask for permission to touch someone’s toys.
But then that same person can somehow think that it's okay for them to treat someone’s partner however they want.
Doesn't something about that seem a little bit weird to you?
9. Not all slaves are submissives. Some Dominants do bottom..
There may come the time when you run into a really, REALLY sadistic person. Every now and then, you will find out that said person may actually be a slave. There are some slaves who put the most sadistic Dominants to shame. Trust me on this one. But don’t judge.
You also may see or read an account of a Dominant who is a masochist and really likes getting flogged or caned. Don’t be surprised. And don’t judge.
You may discover that you may enjoy the feel of a flogger or a cane. If that is what you like, go for it. It will NOT diminish you, except in the eyes of the petty people. And they don't matter.
For some people, things can be more fluid then we are lead to believe. A Dominant can get the crap beat out of them and still remain a Dominant. It’s not always the play that matters. It’s the mindset. There are times when some things are just physical. It’s the way the scene works for them at that time.
10. Dominant =/= Sadist
Not every Dominant is a Sadist. Not every Dominant enjoys causing a great deal of pain. Not every Dominant wants people in a pile of subbie goo due to pain infliction
