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Brain Dump (sorta).

This here is my brain dump. In my real life, I write. A lot. I journal almost daily. However, I almost never go back and read it unless I’m looking for something specific. These entries, though, I come back to. Often. So, if it’s here, it needs to be here. I need to come back and read it.
3 months ago. Thursday, October 2, 2025 at 1:33 PM

Do villains know they’re villains? I do not mean in a “everyone is against me, so what I’m doing must be wrong,” type of way. I mean, do villains know that they are not good? Do they feel justified? Do they truly feel as if everyone around them is “crazy” for not understanding? Do they see others as illogical? Do villains believe themselves to be sane?

I have been convinced that I am an “unreliable narrator” in my own story. Because of this, I have a hard time distinguishing between what actually occurred, and how I processed/interpreted what occurred. I will go as far as to say that I don’t trust my own memory. I’ve been told that the way I share is unnatural, and I don’t know what to do with that. I rely on those around me to tell me what happened.


“Tell me how I hurt you?”


“Why am I sorry?”


“Tell me how to make it better.”

 

A villain wouldn’t ask these things, right? Even as I ask, it feels disingenuous and dishonest. I don’t know what I am. 

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