Back in 1968, two songs were especially emotional triggers for me. While riding on the open roads of West Texas and New Mexico, haunting sounds kept me company on the car radio. Now they are echoes of the past.
NO. 1
NO. 2
I had a surprise dream last night. I had friends visit me, we jammed a few old songs, played chess, and I was slightly better than I used to be. After a while, I introduced them to a couple of my favorite BBC TV programs. We did have pizza and drinks, including some cola (a treat since I usually just drink soda or water with lemon). We talked endlessly about the weather. The biggest surprise? They told me they would visit once a week.
One blog reader commented that caring for my wife for years inflicted trauma upon me. All through my care, my counselors and doctors warned that caring most likely would harm me. I didn't want to believe them or just ignored them; anyway, I gave care for my late wife with little regard for "me".
Seeing doctors one by one since she passed the tally of negative effects is beginning to form a picture. With my stubborn attitude and modern healthcare, I will heal and go on living. That is my mindset.
Humanity, past, present, and future, has reacted this way and must; it is in our genes.
I will love once more. It may not look like my love in the past, but it will be deep, and I will commit and care.
I have plenty of artwork plans, and I will keep playing my guitar and singing old songs (my cat loves it; he snuggles behind me as I play and sing, and my dog relaxes). That is a form of love I need.
Second Nude Painting: mixed media. NOT FOR SALE.
I intended to post this in the morning, but I am hoping when I wake, I will be more optimistic than when I got up this morning. One nostalgic day a week is enough. Some Days I miss her more than others. I selected some photos of her face to use as a model in order to paint an image of her. She always called me Daddy, and when I read blogs on this site in which subs refer to their Dom as Daddy, it can sadden me. There is a hole in my heart and my life.
watercolor painting of mine.
I can't recall ever having as many healthcare appointments in one week as I had this past week. I am glad it is the weekend, as I used to be glad when I worked. Interacting with the staff at my healthcare facilities is cheerful, and I can put on a facade of doing well even when I am not.
My cat was right next to me but did not roust me or hurry me up, so he must be very intelligent, aware that I wanted to sleep an extra fifteen minutes. I pet him, he purred, and head bumped my chin. My Terrier was snoring lightly, so I let her sleep and went down to feed the cat.
What is my agenda today: Perform a cursory scan of news on the internet. Work on some art. Watch another refresher chess game study. Practice guitar and sing several old songs (I haven't worked on my songs for some time now). Select a documentary to watch and a program from the BBC for later.
Haven't had much of an appetite lately, prefer snacks, fast and light. Besides, my dining room and table are currently dominated by artwork and art materials.
The change back to cooler temperatures and a cloudy sky seems to paint a sense of sadness on me this morning, inside and out. (Pixabay image)
Not all colors in the mediums that artists use occur naturally. This AI explanation excerpt explains it well:
Several artist colors and perceived hues do not exist within the physical light spectrum (the rainbow of colors produced by a prism). These are known as extra-spectral or non-spectral colors, and they are largely created by the brain combining inputs from different receptors. Facebook +4
Magenta/Magenta-Purples: Magenta is the most prominent example. It is not found in the light spectrum because it has no single wavelength. Instead, the brain produces magenta when it detects red and blue-violet light simultaneously (effectively filling in the gap where green would be).
Purple/Violet: While violet exists at the edge of the light spectrum, the "purple" often used in art is a mix of red and blue, often considered a non-spectral hue.
Pink: Like magenta, pink is not in the spectrum; it is a mixture of red and violet wavelengths.
White: White light is a combination of all wavelengths, but white itself is not a specific color in the spectrum, but rather the presence of all colors.
Chimeric Colors: These are unusual colors that can only be seen through sensory adaptation, such as "staring at red to make the green receptors tired," leading to "greenish-red" or "yellowish-blue," which cannot exist in natural light.
"Olo": Recently reported by scientists, this is described as a vivid blue-green tone that does not exist in nature and was created to test color perception. Facebook +10
These colors are created, in part, by the human brain to bridge the gap between red and blue light, which are at opposite ends of the visible spectrum, when they are perceived together. pixabay. com
Not entirely the first, but the first in this type of pose in the past, very partial poses only. Oh, I forgot to sign it. Watercolor and watercolor pencil.
Mt dear blog readers, I have good and bad to report concerning my health checks yesterday, no surprise.
I have several arthritic joints, but my hip surprised the doctors because I keep moving, unlike many of their patients who complain and want fast answers. Mind over matter works for me. "I keep moving." I play guitar to overcome arthritis in my fingers (LOL). I eat lemons to keep on singing LOL. I have a strong will, that is how I avoided a heart transplant from 2005 - 2010. Today, the CT scan of my aorta makes me a little nervous, but like other signs of aging, I "keep keeping on".
My lover and muse, wherever you are, I am not impatient, but do not wait too long to come to me. I need you.
Are your kinky thoughts just fantasies and wishful thinking, or are they something you actually desire? Are you constrained by something? Fear: Bad relationships, experiences like catching a STD or being hurt emotionally or possibly physically. Songwriters have a metaphor for you.
"Walk through the Fire"
"Walk the Fire"
"Ring of Fire"
Or Dance
"I hope you dance."
"The Dance"
Do something, don't just sit there and wonder what you MIGHT do or what it MIGHT be like.
I knew a guy who admonished me when I hesitated about doing something: He said, "Do something even if it is wrong." When you choose to move, you can always make a course correction.
