The Culture that has been here all the time

The idea of a domestic sub who can help me in everyday life was presented to me when I was weighed down as a caregiver for eight years as my wife declined. It sounded great until the woman who introduced me to BDSM tricked me into giving her money ( some others did as well). I truly need a domestic sub now, as my housework is not what it used to be. I only just began to appreciate BDSM when things became more critical in my caregiver role.

If I were to meet a woman who was a submissive, domestic, and kinky BDSM woman, I would be overjoyed. I would work hard to make our relationship work, probably fall in love, and practice more kinky things and offer her what good things I could.

What can I write? It is all in the experiencing and seeing. I researched these images to get ideas for future artwork, but examining them was more than I could endure. My imagination, as fantastic as it is, is never enough.

Images from Google free to use.

I got into QoR watercolors for two reasons: 1) I can't locate my good watercolors, and 2) The hype around CoR (from Blick/Golden) sold me. Not the most expensive, but definitely not inexpensive. Using gouache and watercolor pencils with watercolors is new to me. I was predominantly a landscape artist and did some surreal work as well, mostly in acrylics and then oils; now I am putting all my efforts into figure and face work, especially nude work. I am not afraid to make mistakes and admit it: I trashed my first full nude from her back because I made some awful painting mistakes and ruined it.

Moving on. I am so happy that Pixabay.com has pre-approved models with release forms on file, so my lack of having a muse and live models is not a complete hindrance.

Sometimes, when I paint a woman, I vicariously fall in love with her.

PS I will also do other subjects, landscape, flowers, even surreal art when the mood strikes me.

What is a blog? A narrative, an anecdote, a confession, sharing, or maybe even a boast. What a blog is not is a conversation. It may lead to a conversation, a friendship, an enlightenment, or nothing at all. How do people respond?

Sometimes they sense the writer's need accurately and engage in a dialogue. Unfortunately, because of the limitations of how a blogger conveys an idea, the reader must make assumptions; some are correct, most are probably not.

Here I have met people who care, some get it, some do not, and the rest choose not to comment, so I do not know much about them.

I could as many a celebrity does wave a kiss off and say, "I love you all." 

I do appreciate positive responses and learn from negative responses.

The emotional and intellectual engagement confirms that I do not know everything and that I remain a student of and in life.

I was at my back door waiting for my dog to return from sniffing the yard when a bumblebee came and put on a show that would put a human air show to shame. I have always watched bees, especially bumble bees, because their abilities are amazing. The blog post is different but worth the time, and perhaps it will encourage you to marvel at what lives in your natural surroundings. (The only time I get stung is from a yellow jacket or cow killer if I am foolish enough to mess with them.)

"Bumble bees are remarkable pollinators that exhibit extraordinary abilities, including "buzz pollination" (sonication) to release pollen by vibrating their flight muscles at ~200 Hz. They can fly in cold weather, navigate using polarized light on cloudy days, and use, or "buzz," to heat their nests. Their high intelligence allows for complex problem-solving and social learning."

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The major piece of my life that is missing is making love. Not just sex, not just being satisfied, but the wonderful effect on the human body when engaged in making love on a regular basis. Religion has only two justifications when criticizing making love: 1) Unwanted children, but birth control has that covered if a person is smart, and 2) STDs, and at this time, open source knowledge is readily available to avoid them, and healthcare can cure most forms. The health benefits acquired by making love at least once or twice a week, even in old age, are well known.

HYPOCRACY. I know firsthand how duplicitous some religious people are in depicting themselves as "celibate" and abstaining, knowing full well that state of being is a myth, and even if a human tries to adhere to those guidelines, they will fail, in my opinion. We just are not made to not make love.

I miss making love so very much that I feel I am being tortured.

Here are some unusual things about me. I eat fresh lemons. I feel kinky in some forests. Sometimes I enjoy my woman taking the sexual initiative. I like my women "A little on the Trashy Side." I actually slept under the Atlantic City Boardwalk. I have had several periods in my artwork, songs, performing, and scientific interests. I made old things work like radios and Geiger counters. I hold the highest Amateur radio license. I drink half and half . I like Hazelnut coffee. I like flower and vegetable gardening. I love animals. I enjoy love stories. I get emotionally attached to characters in TV shows, especially those from the BBC. I lived in a small German village for three years. My favorite mountains are the Alps. My favorite State is NM. I visited Mexico when in the Army for many wild weekends. Several young women saved my life when I was a wild teenager in NYC. I don't know their names. One saved me in a townhouse that was very near Edward Hooper's. I attended parties at Will Gear's when a folky liberal. I was both a Hippie and, later, a soldier of the month (I enlisted rather than being drafted). I was married three times, the last time two days shy of forty-one years. I set aside most of my interests in life to care for my wife with Alzheimer's, aphasia, and dementia for eight years. I have a daughter from my first marriage and a son from my second marriage. I had a wild girlfriend in between marriages 2 and 3 who jumped in mosh pits and beat up men who had a Mohawk hairstyle because she said they were not real american indians. My academic career bounced between excellent and miserable because, unknown to me for a long time, I was bipolar (now totally controlled), subject to mood swings. We are all unique, aren't we?

Those are the highlights, and I have numerous anecdotes, including some memories I would like to forget. pixabay images

"Good morning, dear.  I hope you slept well and had pleasant dreams. Here is a hug and a kiss. I am making coffee, and I will be making breakfast soon. Is there anything special I can make you? I have bagels and muffins, and the best fresh eggs I could buy. When it is ready, do you want me to bring it to you, or will you come down to eat it?"

I have changed my mind: I want a dominant woman. Why? Because then I will know exactly how to please her. No assumptions. No guessing. She will tell me and command me, and I will comply.

Only one contrary point stands in the way. I am inclined to deal with "my stuff" here, including my house and car, until I decide their fate. This includes my desire to shed as much of my accumulated stuff as I can. Even to the point of renting a dumpster.

My only hope is this: If I respond to her wishes and commands, will she love me? MY PRIORITY? I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ALONE.

I cast out my net and thought I would find a kinky artistic muse. I keep tossing the net out, but it returns empty. I think I must find the right crystals, incense, and chants to bring her to me. Any suggestions on which of these to choose?