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The Culture that has been here all the time

When I was introduced to BDSM relationships, I realized they had existed probably for all of human history. Religion and Western Culture distort this and BDSM itself greatly, and if anything, an incredible hypocrisy is always present. Using codes and euphemisms, even denial can mask the fact that many people thrive within this often unrecognized subculture. For example, my wife had all the earmarks of a pleasure slave and was generally devoted and submissive to me. In times of marital friction, I often heard the words from a counselor, "She just wants you to love her." "Love her," I thought I was, and now I know without a doubt I need to be a Dominant, not some preconceived idea that we are to live as equals: we are not only one can be a Dom and one a sub at a time, but, it is perfectly fine if switching is desired at least now and then.
4 days ago. Thursday, March 5, 2026 at 9:27 AM

Because my wife passed away after eight years of dementia, my mourning has been spread out, but now I am feeling her loss more because I realise she was my anchor in life for forty-one years. I may be adrift in a treacherous and sad world now. I feel utterly alone. Yes, emails, phone calls, and texts do happen, but the intimacy is gone. I am grateful for those contacts.

I restarted my song work, guitar playing, and eclectic studies, which help but can never replace a human hug of encouragement: the embrace of a lover.

I once found it curious when television or movies presented a character who would speak to an urn containing the ashes of a lost loved one. The irony is that I am now one of those characters.

Now that the stress and restrictions of being a full-time caregiver have been lifted, I am getting out on errands, and my walking gait is gradually improving. I feel physically better, my health issues and mental issues are well under control, and going in the right direction.

I do not harbor hate for family and people that let me down, but the lyrics in a song  "Little Rock": "You know your daddy told me when I left
Jesus would forgive, but a daddy don't forget." Yes, I forgive, but I do not forget, and I avoid being abused by these people again.

One more day, a day at a time.

JH

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