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Andron​(neither male)Verified Account

The Culture that has been here all the time

When I was introduced to BDSM relationships, I realized they had existed probably for all of human history. Religion and Western Culture distort this and BDSM itself greatly, and if anything, an incredible hypocrisy is always present. Using codes and euphemisms, even denial can mask the fact that many people thrive within this often unrecognized subculture. For example, my wife had all the earmarks of a pleasure slave and was generally devoted and submissive to me. In times of marital friction, I often heard the words from a counselor, "She just wants you to love her." "Love her," I thought I was, and now I know without a doubt I need to be a Dominant, not some preconceived idea that we are to live as equals: we are not only one can be a Dom and one a sub at a time, but, it is perfectly fine if switching is desired at least now and then.
5 days ago. Thursday, March 12, 2026 at 10:03 AM

For many years of my life, I had a kind of compass that pointed me toward the future. Yes, a big part of that was having a loving and trusting wife. Even though I was her primary (no, solo) caregiver for eight years, I had purpose and a sense that I had accomplished something in my life. Poof, all that evaporated. Now I am left with confusion and seem to drift without purpose.

I have many interests and even hobbies (I could resurrect), but without someone to share the joy they once brought me, it seems pointless. Yes, I have mourned, and yes, I believed I made it past most of that because of "The Long Goodbye Effect", but no, it still leaves me empty (very empty).

Sometimes I feel antisocial, and I'm misanthropic (minus hate, however), which limits my comfort level in social settings, which doesn't help. Having been scammed a great deal doesn't help. Being disappointed by the church and family doesn't help. In fact, I am irreligious, left with only a sense of spiritualism, which I embraced when I researched Native American spirituality.

Here on "thecage" are the closest people I consider friends, and I am glad for them.  I hope to meet a woman here who resonates with me and my sensibilities, so we can be the companions we each need. My recent foolishness leaves me financially ok but with limited ability for travel. I own a house and live in a nice old town, but my interaction with locals is sparse. First, because of all the caregiving for my late wife, and now my reluctance to plunge into the local society and culture, I am not a native of. Ironically, during my army days, I fit in with local people everywhere I went.

What is in my favor? I have a great capacity to love and share with the right woman.

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