Hello Friends,
I thank all of you who have read my blog and in good faith posted comments: All were very helpful. decadentEssence in Scotland UK, offered the most selfless comment: She told me if she was closer she would help with my wife's care as a friend. Something lacking here in the USA.
The intense caregiving I perform for my wife with Alzheimer's/Dementia/Aphasia has had a severe negative effect on me and especially my social life: There isn't any. I am committed to caring for her until the end: "'till death due us part".
Seeking a friend (woman friend) has been an expensive and futile effort from which I have learned many bitter lessons. In several situations when I expected a woman to just visit me and they did not, I was relieved because though my wife offered zero intimacy I still felt like I was betraying her.
I arrived here in The Cage because I was convinced a sub woman could become a personal companion by a Woman Dom. The definition of companion varied widely in my search. I explained that I had learned that my wife who is ill was a perfect sub in retrospect and took care of me like no other woman in my life (another reason not to abandon her). I did not understand that until I was introduced to the Dom/Sub Subculture.
As a man in the USA (maybe elsewhere) I was taught to have integrity, honor my commitments, and let my yes mean yes and my no mean no: What does this mean to me now? "Suck it up" and live the life I have been given. I chose to care for my wife and I should be mature enough to accept every consequence that is the result of that decision.
I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and start once again: Hold myself to that high standard (try harder to the best of my ability).