Hello Friends,
My mom used to say it is just as easy to love a rich person, as it is to love a poor person. She also would say we should not expect to change a person once we are in a relationship with them. It may be hard but I was able to change in major ways and for my wife I changed in three ways: I quit smoking, I stopped drinking (it was destroying me anyway) and I learned how to be her caregiver (at great personal expense to me).
So in BDSM M/S why couldn't we ask a person who is potentially one we can get involved with? It would start with whether they were interested in learning why you are in it. How does that work for you and what would the potential role be for them (in such a relationship)? No riskier than searching blindly hoping for the best.
Then there could be some reason to compromise and get what is most important. My first two wives were not the kind of lovers I have come to cherish but that wasn't why we didn't last. I only realized my preferences with a great lover about 45 years ago. Then when I met and married my wife who was a perfect sub (I didn't realize that until recently; more so since her brain disease robbed her of who she was)
The future? I will find love again it is my destiny and I am sure od that.