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Andron​(neither male)Verified Account

The Culture that has been here all the time

When I was introduced to BDSM relationships, I realized they had existed probably for all of human history. Religion and Western Culture distort this and BDSM itself greatly, and if anything, an incredible hypocrisy is always present. Using codes and euphemisms, even denial can mask the fact that many people thrive within this often unrecognized subculture. For example, my wife had all the earmarks of a pleasure slave and was generally devoted and submissive to me. In times of marital friction, I often heard the words from a counselor, "She just wants you to love her." "Love her," I thought I was, and now I know without a doubt I need to be a Dominant, not some preconceived idea that we are to live as equals: we are not only one can be a Dom and one a sub at a time, but, it is perfectly fine if switching is desired at least now and then.
1 year ago. Friday, March 8, 2024 at 4:35 PM

Hello Friends,

I mentioned before that my wife was a sub, but I did not understand the concept until recently. According to one book I keep handy, she was a classic sub. She has fleeting moments of her old self on rare occasions, and I relish those few moments. This post is about how she and several other women addressed me.

The most common was for decades, "Daddy," but I have had women call me Boss or "You're in charge." Strange to me, as I recollect, this happened during closeness and allusions of intimacy, which were not necessarily at the level my wife expressed. I took them as simply addressing me with respect. 

I see now that each woman made this choice regarding how our relationship was or was to be defined or hoped to be defined. In cases when I interacted with women on a friendly level but the relationship was kept a little more distant, these terms were not used. During several incidents, I saw what may have been overtures at me, which I missed when a woman addressed me in a tone similar to my wife's and with a demeanor—resembling a flirt. I did not seek nor act on that because our marriage was monogamous, and neither one of us strayed; therefore, I did not pursue or encourage this. 

I am thinking out loud here because though I am new to BDSM M/S, I now think these events and situations can be seen in a new light and could have become overt if I had encouraged them.

Does, by definition, a "submissive" person wait for a "dominant" person to make a first move? Or can either a Dom or Sub initiate interest in someone.? Is there a protocol for this?

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