Andron

The Culture that has been here all the time

When I studied to acquire my Master's status I discovered the M/S relationship existed probably for all the history of humans. Religion and Western Culture distort this greatly. Using codes and euphemisms even denial masks it presents the fact many people thrive within this often unrecognized subculture. For example, my wife had all the earmarks of a pleasure slave and was generally devoted and submissive to me. In times of marriage friction, I often heard the words from a counselor, "She just wants you to love her" "Love her" I thought I was and did now I know without a doubt I need to be a master, not some preconceived idea we are to live as equals.

When Can I

2 months ago. January 21, 2025 at 5:27 PM

When can I start a new life? The caregiving for my wife that began in 2017 has weighed me down more day by day. No, I can neither give up on her nor have someone give me a vacation from my caregiving. Without discussing current events in detail, I will only say they have deepened my depression. Nowhere to go. Nothing interested me anymore, so I just had to wait for the inevitable end we all must face one day.

The irony? I loved living and seeing nature and watching the advances in science, especially space exploration. Now? I don't care at all.

Negative news sells, and I no longer read newspapers or watch TV, but seeing updates on the internet is difficult to ignore. That is because the Internet is my last connection with the outside world beyond my home, where I care for my ill wife.

I apologize for being so negative; however, in my 77 years and a half, I have never felt this isolated and alone. I always found a shred of hope on the darkest night.

Pxabay.com

Aradia Nightshade(other female) - Being a caregiver is hard work. But we aren't supposed to say that! We hear all the "lucky to have you" and the pats on the back, and we're supposed to smile politely and thank them. What's even worse, the most empty words in the world in caregiving, "let me know if there's anything we can do to help".

No one responded because it makes everyone uncomfortable - caregivers are meant to be seen and not heard. No one knows what to say. Not even I know the perfect thing to say.

We are strangers, but I will say something anyway because no one else is. Get some help for your Depression. If you do not get help, caregiving will swallow you whole. Maybe it has already. You can see a therapist online too, so you wouldn't even have to leave the house. But that's part of the problem. You probably can't leave the house because it means leaving your wife alone.

I'm not terribly familiar with services in the US because I'm in Canada. But if you haven't already, try looking around for any resources and supports that can help you. For example, maybe there's a free program you qualify for to get respite. Someone can take care of your wife for a few hours while you go do something for yourself.

If you don't practice self-care, your health could be compromised. In fact, it's very likely things will implode. Then who takes care of your wife? I don't know if finances are an issue or if you've chosen not to place your wife in a nursing home. It's hard to be of any practical help when I don't know what to recommend on account of you being in another country.

I'm speaking to you as someone with lived experience. At the very least, get some help for your Depression. You have to take control of yourself and your own life before you start (trying) to control others.

2 months ago

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The Culture that has been here all the time

When Can I

Andron