I do not respect a lot of people in my biological family. I cannot love most of them, and care even less about the rest. I barely register their existence most of the time.
I simply cannot care or respect someone who doesn't respect me.
I was always the Pariah. The outsider. The weirdo kid that nobody believed.
No matter how many times I was proved right, whenever I said anything "oh, he's making up another story".
Yet, despite my having not once been proven wrong on anything I told my 'family', they still to this day treat everything I say, everything I do, as a joke. As not important.
I gave up on them, because they never even tried with me.
With my chosen family, I respect them, appreciate them, and love them as they have only ever shown me respect, love, and appreciation.
Recently my I brought this up with my grandmother, told her exactly how I felt. Her response was, as always, to gaslight me. Tell me "oh that's just in your imagination".
Literally five minutes later, she made some comment about a subject I am very familiar with. It was an incorrect observation based on some BS story she had seen on the TV, some opinion piece that was presented as Fact. I pointed out this fallacy, and her response was "How do you know that?! You couldn't possibly know that, you are wrong". Exact words.
I give up.
I'm done.
I'm not even going to dignify these observations from my family with a rebuttal anymore.
I am me. I am more than they can see, and so much more than they can imagine.
They get nothing from me. I have zero fucks to give.
Yet, despite my assertions of this fact, they still expect me to fawn over every meaningless, trivial, bs moment in their lives.
If only they knew, I wouldn't even waste the alcohol if they were on fire, let alone piss on them to put it out. I won't stoke their downfall, but I won't be there to catch them either. They are already dead to me. As heartless as that is, I just have more important people to spend my time and thoughts on.
Two of you at least are on here, one introduced us to you all.
Sorry for the rant, I just needed to clear my mind before insomnia gave way to exhaustion.
