I have met and made a few friends on here. Most seem to understand about my reluctance to get into anything especially after my ex.
My ex was my first Daddy/Dom. The first to collar me. The first to own me. Mind, body, soul.
He ruined my opinion of myself. Forced me to believe I wasn't worthy of love, attention, sex, kindness, and the beautiful things you get from a partner.
I just wanted all of those things from him. Or at least I used to want from him.
I used to ask myself "Why am I not enough?, why am I not good enough?, why can't I be a good girl?"
Everything I did wasn't enough. Even when I did everything like he told me to. Id push down my needs. Pushed away my dark thoughts. Because I wanted to be his good little girl.
I realized I wasn't enough for him no matter how hard I tried. Not because of me but because of him.
I need to be me. Relearn myself. Find out what i want and need.
Who knows what will happen in the time to come.