The Belly

Hey Doms, it's time to start reaching out to each other. We can do this by supporting one another, knowing our capabilities, and connecting the dots on how we can improve, network, and take a moment to treat ourselves better. This should be done before we strap up our boots and get back to continuing to provide, teach, instruct, work, and lead. In this blog, I'll address some stereotypes, give tips on how to clean yourself up or how you can help someone do the same, give advice on how to ground yourself, and how to find the right sub/slave/pet for you. 

For the doms who are experienced and dealing with a troublesome submissive that is sweating and stressing them out, don't give up on thinking they can't be broken into learning a lesson. Try actually communicating and shifting aspects of your dynamic. I have yet to have a sub who "loves being punished" last more than 15 minutes when the punishment was military physical training exercises. As the dom, what effect do you want to have on your sub? Do you want them to reflect? To feel punishment? To learn a lesson? To feel exhaustion? Learn about scene tailoring, it's a big help. 

For the new doms busting at the seems with delusions and hormones, I promise your experiences will be easier, better, and longer-lasting if you focus on yourself before trying to find someone to command, control, and direct. Reach out to experienced doms, fix your own sleeping schedule, physical fitness, life priorities, and relationship skills before trying to make, mold, and direct the nature of someone else's. 

To the guys who fit the description in every rant (check sub forums and blogs) about fake doms, let's go over why you're sending bs messages with blank profiles and demands. 

1. If you're inexperienced. Read up. Go to classes. Spend a little money on learning essential skills: slip knots, cooking, finish up that workout program in the gym. The point is to establish a sense of discipline. commitment and self-respect that will support your confidence in being a leader and making decisions. 
2. If you figure you have no shot so you might as well just try to be an asshole or give the bare minimum just in case your shot makes it. If you're going to take a shot, take it with precision. In any area of life.
   • Most submissives who respond to me, they respond because they are interested in what I have to say, how I look, and that I actually invest time and effort to read their profiles and blogs. 
     • Post pictures (if you're concerned about discretion, blur your face out, or have a black and white classic photo that hides your face, hell post a fake pic of someone who resembles you and explain later. Something.)
     • Write and read blogs. Not doing this for entertainment. See what are the new trends of submissive disappointments and outrage. Go back and review your own posts, social media, and profile. Reflect on how and why your reaction was what it was.
     • Clean up your social media.
       • Fix grammatical mistakes, post photos of any volunteer work, or social events you like to do.
       • We all had that cringe-worthy rage phase, clean that up. 
     • We interact with each other as people, potential partners, and the roles that we assign and support. Meaning, as a human being, be prepared to engage, open to, and connect with these different stages and phases. Instead of unrealistic expectations, try realistic standards: For yourself and the submissive partner that you're looking for. 

Using my uncle's analogy, approach every interaction like you're trying to sell a car for someone you trust. You smile, do research on the product or service you're offering, be clear about what you expect, clean yourself up, take decent pictures, show up on time, and actually do your homework on the buyer.  

Keep in mind that every relationship and interaction should have a balance. A lot of doms will tire themselves out trying to provide, discipline, communicate, engage. I encourage submissives to have a level of awareness with new doms that are willing to do the work to be actual doms. Introduce them to experienced doms, show initiative, and tell the dom what you like, review ...ah you get the point. 

I want to encourage people to see men and doms in a positive light. However, gentlemen, it can't happen until you value and establish standards for yourself in order to be in that light. If there was ever a time to do research, reflect and improve.............the time is now. Message me if you have any questions.