Disclaimer: I recently attended a class that focused on the importance of disclosing alternative lifestyles to healthcare professionals, and this is a summary of my personal notes and what I have learned from the experience. This review reflects my understanding and perspective on the topic, and I encourage others to seek additional resources or professional advice if they wish to explore this subject further. Please note that everyone’s experience is unique, and it is important to find what works best for you in your own healthcare journey.
It is important for me to disclose my alternative lifestyle to my medical professionals because open communication is essential for receiving the best possible care. Sharing this aspect of my life ensures that my healthcare providers can offer guidance and treatments that are aligned with my values, preferences, and needs. It also helps them understand any unique health considerations or risks that may arise due to my lifestyle. Ultimately, full disclosure fosters a trusting relationship, where I can feel supported and confident in the medical advice and treatment I receive.
Why You Should Disclose:
Access to STI Testing: If you're engaging in multiple sexual relationships, it is important to receive accurate STI testing to protect your health and the health of your partners.
I was actually denied an STI test when I asked for one, until I informed my medical provider that I have multiple partners.
Receive Appropriate and Informed Healthcare: By sharing your lifestyle choices, you ensure that your medical professionals can provide informed, non-judgmental care. They can give advice tailored to your specific needs without making assumptions or judgments.
Ensure Accurate Health and Risk Assessments: Disclosing your lifestyle allows for a more accurate health assessment, helping healthcare providers understand the risks you may face. This ensures that they provide you with the best care, including preventative measures.
Advocate for Relationship Autonomy in Therapy: If you're polyamorous or kinky, being open with your therapist helps ensure they respect your relationship dynamics and autonomy, allowing for healthier therapy conversations that acknowledge your full lifestyle.
Polyfriendly & Kink Friendly Providers: Many healthcare providers are more understanding and supportive than we realize. Disclosing helps you find those who are comfortable and knowledgeable in treating individuals in alternative relationship dynamics.
Strategies for Disclosing:
Keep it Simple: You don’t need to go into every detail. Focus on the aspects that are relevant to your care, such as your number of partners, the nature of your relationships, or your specific health concerns.
Keep it Related to Healthcare: Share only what's necessary to your care, such as STI status, relationship structure, or any specific needs you may have.
Advocate for Yourself: You have the right to have a healthcare provider who understands and respects your lifestyle. If your current provider isn’t receptive, consider finding one who will listen and support you in a way that’s non judgmental and respectful.
My Masters and I often get disrespected by medical professionals and their staff. Once they find out we are Poly and Kinky they hit on us. Asking if they can join the dynamic, or they can be partner number 4.
How to Handle Negative Comments:
Recognize Red Flags: If your provider expresses discomfort, dismisses your lifestyle, or makes you feel shamed, this could be a sign that they are not the right fit for you.
Pathologizing Non Monogamy or Kink: Be mindful if they treat your alternative lifestyle as a disorder, a "problem," or something that needs to be fixed. Non monogamy and kink are not mental health disorders. They are valid forms of human expression.
Dismissive Language: Pay attention to their language. If they make dismissive remarks about your relationships or fail to consider all of your partners, it may indicate bias or a lack of understanding.
Refuse to Reflect on Poly Relationships: If they dismiss your relationship structure or refuse to acknowledge all of your partners, this could be a sign that your healthcare provider doesn’t respect your polyamory lifestyle.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for a New Provider:
If your healthcare professional is dismissive, disrespectful, or does not support your needs, it is okay to seek out a new provider who respects and understands your lifestyle.
Patient Rights: Remember, you have rights as a patient. If you experience discrimination or feel uncomfortable, there are resources available to file complaints and protect your rights.
Health Insurance Patient Advocates: Most health insurance plans have patient advocates who can help guide you through the process of finding a respectful and understanding provider. Don’t hesitate to use this resource if you’re feeling unsupported.
Disclosing your alternative lifestyle choices to healthcare professionals is crucial for receiving the best care and ensuring your health and safety. Being open can also help break down stigmas, creating a more supportive environment for everyone. You deserve to have a healthcare provider who listens to you, respects you, and provides informed, non judgmental care. Don’t be afraid to advocate for that right.
