It's like wrestling an alligator and then blaming the alligator when you get bit. They knew it was an alligator; it told you it was an alligator.
I am truly upset and disgusted by that quote. It is beyond me how anyone could express such harmful views, and it is disheartening to know that these kinds of thoughts exist. The words are not only hurtful, but they also reflect a deep lack of empathy and understanding. It is hard to believe that anyone would think this way, and it leaves me feeling both frustrated and disgusted. They know who they are, and they ought to be ashamed of themselves.
Consent is Non Negotiable!!!
In recent times, I've seen a troubling trend within the BDSM and kink community: the dismissal of individuals who speak out about violations of their consent or personal boundaries. This goes beyond mere disagreement. It is a toxic mindset that essentially shames those who have bravely shared their experiences of discomfort or abuse. The very notion that someone should be labeled as a “complainer” or blamed for their own victimization because they chose to participate in what some define as “risky play” is not only disgusting, it is a fundamental misunderstanding of the principles on which BDSM and kink stand.
As someone deeply engaged in this community, I’ve experienced the rich benefits that consensual practices can offer. In BDSM consent is not just an afterthought; it is the bedrock principle that ensures the safety and enjoyment of all parties involved. When someone decides to engage in kink, it is essential that the lines of consent are clear, explicit, and respected. Any failure in this regard taints the integrity of the entire practice.
The fallacy that anyone expressing discomfort or violation in their experiences should have “known better” is incredibly damaging. It implies that there is a hierarchy within consent, and that some individuals’ boundaries are less valid than others. The truth is, every participant has the right to establish their own limits, and those limits must be respected. I have witnessed firsthand how those who speak out about any transgression are often met with derision rather than support. This behavior creates an insidious environment where potential victims may feel discouraged from speaking out for fear of being ostracized or minimized.
In a healthy BDSM and kink culture, there should be no tolerance for individuals who vilify others for asserting their boundaries. Dismissing someone’s concerns as “complaining” is a dangerous signal to the wider community: that speaking up about personal violation or boundary crossing is an act of weakness, not strength. In our pursuit of pleasure within kink, we must never forget that peace of mind and emotional safety are paramount.
This community thrives on the principles of respect and trust, and we should hold one another accountable for maintaining these values. Anyone who claims to be part of the BDSM community but undermines the fundamental principle of consent should not be welcomed with open arms. We must take a unified stand against this behavior, as it is crucial to creating an environment where everyone feels safe to explore their boundaries without fear of judgment or retribution.
It is vital to remember that consent can be complex and nuanced. Each person’s experience is valid, and none can be invalidated because others might perceive them as “risky.” Every voice should be heard with empathy, and every cry for help should be met with compassion.
Those who dismiss the importance of consent and dismiss individuals who speak out about their experiences to mere “complainers” are acting contrary to everything our community stands for. The strength of BDSM and kink lies in our commitment to consent and mutual respect. As members of this space, it is our responsibility to uplift one another and ensure that every individual is free to express themselves, safely and without fear. Only then can we truly thrive as a community dedicated to pleasure and authenticity.
