The Strength It Takes to Communicate Clearly
Let’s get one thing straight: communication isn’t just a skill, it Is a responsibility. And one that most people neglect under the guise of "not wanting to start drama" or "it Is not that deep." But here’s the truth I’ve learned. If you’re not speaking up, you’re setting yourself up for resentment, for confusion, for breakdowns in relationships that could’ve been saved or structured better from the start.
I used to think that expressing how I felt in the moment was enough. Say it, get it off your chest, move on. But that’s only half the job. Real communication, the kind that builds relationships instead of breaking them, demands more than just venting in the heat of emotion. It requires strength, emotional maturity, self awareness, and follow through.
Before you say anything, reflect. Ask yourself, what is the actual issue? What exactly am I feeling? Name it. Own it. And then, and this is key, give yourself space. Sit with it for a day or two. Emotions shift once the adrenaline clears. What you feel in the moment might not be what you feel after you’ve had time to process.
But don’t stop there. After that space and clarity, you owe it to yourself and the other person to speak calmly, honestly, and clearly. You can’t expect someone to fix something they don’t know is broken. People are not mind readers. You can’t stew in silence and then explode, expecting them to magically understand what went wrong.
You have to lay it out:
What happened.
How it made you feel.
What you need moving forward.
And yes, that might mean placing a boundary. That might mean proposing a solution or saying, “This is what needs to change, now or over time.” That might mean leaving room for them to rise or for things to shift, but you have to make the terms clear. Because here’s another hard truth. If you don’t define what kind of relationship you want, whether romantic, platonic, professional, then someone else will. And you may not like what they choose.
If you’re not actively shaping your role in a relationship, advocating for your needs, and setting expectations, then how can you be shocked when it crumbles? You left it on autopilot. You said nothing when something felt off. And now it is off the rails, and that silence helped drive it there.
Communicating doesn’t make you needy. It makes you responsible, for your own emotional well being, for your role in your relationships, and for the outcomes you’re living with. So speak. Be brave enough to process, speak up, and define what you need. That’s not drama. That’s clarity. That’s real strength.
And if someone can’t handle that? That tells you everything you need to know.