I met a friend last year who felt like looking in a mirror. We shared eerily similar childhood traumas, we are both slaves in 24/7 TPE relationships, both littles with similar interests, morals, and ethics.
She and her Daddy helped my Masters and me tremendously in our dynamic. She grounded me when I needed it most and helped me refocus on my purpose as a slave and my submission. I love her for that. We spent hours together on Discord when she was available, and she was quickly becoming not just a close friend but a chosen sister.
Then, out of nowhere, she posted a message saying that, for religious reasons, she and her Master were leaving Discord, Fetlife, and the BDSM community entirely. I fully respect that decision. You have to do what makes you happy. But here’s the thing, just because you’re leaving kink doesn’t mean you have to leave your friends.
Friendship isn’t dependent on a lifestyle.
Unfortunately, she didn’t just step away from the community, she stepped away from me and everyone she’d grown close to in our server. I reached out to her many times afterward, checking in, sending love, letting her know I was still here. I was met with silence.
Ghosted.
And she knew how I felt about ghosting. She knew it is one of my deepest friendship wounds. If you need space, I’ll always respect that, just say so. But disappearing without a word tells me I’m not valued, I’m not respected, and I never really mattered to you. And that hurts in a way I can’t fully put into words.
Time passed. I began to move forward, still missing her but learning to accept the loss. Then recently, she returned. New Fetlife account. She reached out, saying how much she missed me, how she hoped my Masters and I were doing well. Part of me wanted to scream with joy, to hug her, to just pick up where we left off. But I couldn’t. I had to tell her not to contact me again.
It wasn’t easy.
My heart wanted to throw my boundaries away. But I refuse to go back to the version of me who let people repeatedly hurt her without consequence. This wasn’t the first time she’d done this, it was the second.
And I won't witness a third!
Now I’ve heard she’s telling others she was “shunned” and that if I were a true friend, I would have welcomed her back with open arms. But here’s the truth. True friends don’t ghost the people who care about them. True friends don’t vanish without a word, especially when they know how deeply that wounds someone.
True friends communicate, even if it is just to say, “I need some time.”
You are allowed to be upset that you weren’t welcomed back. But I’m allowed to protect my peace. I only keep space in my life for people who show up, keep their word, and genuinely care. I wish her, her Daddy, and her family nothing but happiness and fulfillment. Truly. But that happiness will have to exist without me in it.
Because my peace matters, and I intend to protect it.