Control and Dominance Is Not Enough To Earn My Investment!
There’s a common misconception about power exchange, that if someone shows up with Dominance, control, and the right energy, that’s enough to win me over. That if they have presence, authority, or that “commanding” way about them, I’ll naturally fall in line.
But that’s not how it works for me.
Control and Dominance on their own don’t earn my investment. They might catch my attention, sure. They might stir something inside me. But that’s surface level. If I’m going to truly invest myself, my time, my trust, my submissionm it takes more than that.
What earns me, is consistency. Do their words and actions match over time? Do they show up in the same way on the hard days as they do on the easy ones? Consistency builds trust. Without it, Dominance feels flimsy, more like a performance than a reality.
It also takes integrity. Anyone can say the right words or put on a Dominant face, but integrity shows in the choices they make when no one is watching. Do they walk their talk? Do they treat people with the respect they say they value? Do they own their mistakes? Integrity is the backbone of leadership, and without it, power exchange becomes hollow.
And perhaps most importantly, it takes growth. I need to see someone who is actively growing, evolving, learning. I don’t want to give myself to someone who thinks they’re already “done.” Stagnation doesn’t inspire me, it suffocates me. Growth, on the other hand, keeps the dynamic alive, creates space for deeper connection, and models the kind of self awareness I want to align with.
So yes, Dominance is attractive. Control can be enticing. But those things alone aren’t enough for me. My submission isn’t something that gets handed over just because someone knows how to hold eye contact or speak in a firm tone. My submission is an investment, and it requires consistency, integrity, and growth in return.
That’s the kind of Dominance I can believe in. That’s the kind of Dominance I can give myself to fully.