I entered the lifestyle back in 2003 and back then I never did things safely. I never even new the term SSC. I was also a nasty little shit. I played many games and never took this life too seriously, topping from the bottom, whining to get my way and leaving Dominants that gave me a chance when I didnt get it.
Like I said...A little shit.
However that isnt the basis for this writing all of that is a story for another day or hell for just conversation anymore. So today presented me with an idea I thought I might write about.
In our discord server we had a few new people in the lifestyle join us. We are super happy that our little community is growing with such genuine and close interactions it warms my heart because it isnt just a community. It is a massive family forming, with kind people, who are uplifting and non-judgmental.
So back in 2014 I entered into my mentorship with Sir Seven. This man was intimidating. He was the first Dominant I ever took officially seriously. He did not accept me as a mentee at first.
He told me I was too spirited and that my mouth was what was going to ruin me because I am bold, opinionated, forward, and brutally honest. He told me I speak very much in a Dominant manner. He told me with that he never believed I was ever going to be a proper, obedient and pleasing submissive.
I truly just believe I am completely misunderstood.
Do I actually talk like this on voice and in person. Absolutely. However I know my place as a submissive. I respect that people that to me are the very definition of Dominant. Not everyone gets that respect from me. Sir Seven however truly was the first.
I had to truly beg him to take me on. I had to swear and cry and talk until I was blue in the face to explain exactly how desperately I wanted to serve and to please and be properly trained as a submissive. How I so desperately need to take this lifestyle seriously. He had his doubts. He was skeptical every step of the way. He took on the challenge of polishing the rough edges of my rebel heart and soul.
So that brings me to why I am writing this. First I am and always will be forever grateful and proud to have been taught by Sir Seven. He was honorable, honest, intelligent, and ethical. Now my first two lessons I will NEVER forget. The Allegory Cave, written by Plato and how it represents todays society and BDSM.
99 pages of utter torture but in the end, after reading it again, and again, and then using it for my own teachings and mentoring, a very much treasured book, and tool in bringing people through some much needed turmoil from their inner battles with accepting who they are in this life and being happy and better off with being who they are.
The next lesson was choosing my scene name and learning that you use it at all times in this lifestyle. Online personas, public play events, etc etc. That it is necessary to remain extremely discreet in this world. The lifestyle, the community is my home. It is where I belong with all of you, while I sit so pretty wrapped in rope at my Masters' feet. I learned that with this identity came intense and deep responsibility. That if you see a coworker, a friend at a public play space, you never know them. When you leave and go back to work, you never saw them there.
I have noticed that today many people do not apply this to their lives. I have noticed this as well in our Discord server. Anyone can choose to live however they want. They can do BDSM however they want because what is right for them, is right for them. Period.
However my name is Ava. It is a slave name granted to me by the use of my Masters. I am proud to be called Ava. It has been carved into my soul and honestly I prefer it over my actual name.
Bunny-Bites is just a cute way to express myself but at play spaces, local dungeons, munches, conventions, etc. I am Ava. It makes me feel submissive. It makes me feel beautiful. It is an impression of my slavery upon me as my Masters have given it to me. It is also protection from the outside world.
We know how dangerous the world can be. Vanilla people despite them not believing they are kinky when we all know a smack on the ass or pulling of some hair definitely is kinky even if it isnt to some extremes. We know they judge us, call us weirdos. Still I am sure some out there would never hesitate to cancel us out of our jobs like the society today tends to do.
Ridiculous...I know.
Honestly if we arent hurting anyone else, and our partners are consenting to the dynamic we share and love so much, and we arent forcing this life down their throats, then people cant say shit about it, In my opinion.
Still regardless of my personal feelings I just thought I would share that information that my dear mentor had once advised me of and that I love so damn much.
1. Think of a name that fulfills you. Makes you feel empowered as a Dom/Top. Makes you feel submissive or super kinky as a Sub/Bottom.
2. Adapt that to your life by using it on your kinky social platforms.
3. Then at public play spaces and events. Use this name as your name and inform people it is your scene name.
Plus the benefit is it can make you feel all sorts of ways when you take on a persona like this. It can be your freedom to shed the mask of the everyday life and truly put on the face of whom you really are.
It does that for me at least.
