The proverb "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink" originated in England in the 12th century.
I have been a mentor in the kink community for nearly ten years. I mostly educate on kink and submissive behavior and education. I am not an expert and there are things I still dont know and that is why I say if you need a mentor make sure you get a few not just one. I also always advise to take my advice and was of doing things with a grain of salt and pick and choose what works for you. I was a teacher as well for a few years before life went a different direction. Still even a teacher knows you will always keep learning it never ends.
I have a degree in psychology, forensic science and criminal justice. I often get people that come to me for advice and for help or just to vent to and that is usually alright with me. However the narrative for me lately has been asking me for advice then dont take it, then come back and ask the same advice just to not take it again.
For example: Hey Ava, can you help me figure out a diet and exercise routine to help me lose weight?
Me: Sure, here is what I do. Though I would suggest speaking to your doctor to confirm you can do these things safely first.
Them a month later talking to me while eating an entire bag of chips or cookies, "I dont know why I am gaining weight with this routine you have me doing"
Reasons like that above keep happening. It is my fault for not setting boundaries with people. I have sacrificed my peace for far too long for people who do not care to stop being lazy or want to remain stuck in victim mentality. I normally have no issue being a good person and friend if you need one, but the audacity of people who just do not want to put the work in, is astounding to me.
So I will be putting my foot down from now on. If you arent going to help yourself, then why should I invest my time and energy for you? If you arent willing to see your faults in the mirror and work to fix them so you can find a healthy dynamic and relationship, then dont bother asking me for help.
I am not going to sit here and pull information out of you as if I am fishing for Moby Dick. If you arent going to open up, change, grow, then stop coming to me with your issues. You arent going to take my advice or help anyways, so you can simply google your answer. The AI will likely give you the same answer anyways.
So here is my final advice
Educate yourself.
Realize you are part of the problem.
Get professional help.
Emotional Maturity needs to be achieved.
Stop being in victim mentality.
Stop being lazy.
Stop procrastinating.
Open the fuck up and stop hiding.
Be honest with yourself and stop lying.
If all you came to do is bitch about everything instead of fixing your situation, the door is over there.
I know it sounds harsh, and it is likely a very unpopular opinion but honestly I do not care. We are all grown adults here and people need to start acting like it, instead of crying for a pity party.
Besides I am not Willy Wonka and I reuse to ever sugarcoat anything for anyone.
Now if you are serious about growing and changing as a person and actually are reespectful of someone's peace of mind and their time and you are truly seeking advice or help, then by all means my DMs are open.
