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the alpha pocket sub

11 months ago. Mon 19 Nov 2018 02:28:48 AM IST

It started small, a pinch in my chest, which meant it was just a thought that concerned me. It grew with each fleeting thought along with it. It grew, it became this monsterous thing...I couldn't even swallow. I don't dare share it because it would never be understood. I say to myself, this is not you. You don't do this. You have never done this. Your thoughts and fears are irrational. But yet here they are. 

 

This is where I have been broken...my mind, my thoughts, my feelings. As much as I have tried to repair them, it is not working. So tomorrow, I will begin again...trying to keep my alpha persona flaring to hide the crippling anxiety growing within me. 

 

I know how to fix this, I know what I need. I just won't give myself over to it. Submitting entirely, soley and without question.


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