A couple of months ago I was speaking to a Master, during one of our conversations, about a sub, he suddenly said to me that I should not to be afraid of my darkest desire. I responded back, ‘don’t mistake me being respectful as being fearful of what and who I am.’
I was reminded of this conversation after reading this post highlighted by the cage team - https://thecage.co/magazine,283.html. It made me think about respect and boundaries. I expect respect to be given as I should give it to others, unless something has happened, where respect is no longer warranted. I was further reminded of this conversation whilst speaking to a lovely sub whose previous dom had made her think that she couldn’t say no. A bit like the article says this is a red flag both ways. If someone has been respectful of my time and communicated to me that they are unable to do something for a valid reason, then being respectful back, acknowledging what has been said and discussing it, creates an environment whereby the person trusts me further and deepens our understanding of each other. It also builds mutual respect. If I am not communicated with, then that is disrespectful and I will not waste my time on you.
Alternatively in respecting yourself and being clear in what you want and how you want to be treated allows you to confidently and politely walk away, decline if someone approaches you and does not treat you with respect or you feel that you are not compatible. In respecting myself and my needs, I am able to walk away from subs and tell them we aren’t compatible whilst still being respectful of their wants and needs.
I will end this post as I started it, don’t mistake my respectfulness for fear or weakness. Instead see it for what it is, that it means I respect myself and will respect you as a person. That I know what I want and that I know who I am. I hope that you too, know you deserve this (unless you don’t want it in your dynamic 😘)