I like this time late at night, I use it to sort through things in my head, to look at wants and needs and to analyse my day, my week or something that has happened.
I like the quiet to calm my storm, to re-centre myself and to think through whether my needs and wants are aligned with people that I am talking to. I have had a week of having to walk away from people who want me to be their domme, I have had some truly interesting conversations and like always, I am lucky that most people I meet are wonderful people (those that aren’t I walk away from very quickly and I have no guilt in that). I have been told by many that I have spoken to recently, that I am a true domme, I am working out what that means, any thoughts please do send them on a postcard, but I interpret this to mean my energy and my approach. What this doesn’t mean is that I will take on anyone, if I don’t meet your needs I won’t be insulted, if you don’t respect my time and requests then I am not the right domme for you. Getting to know a person, their likes, what makes them ticks, to have a conversation is just as important as knowing that you want discipline etc.
Being a domme is me, it is who I am, I cannot remove that part of me but that does not mean, it is all of me, though it does come out in my daily life. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to know and talk to people. I say I want an intelligent sub, what I mean by that is someone who is aware of who they are, who is submissive, but also able to hold a conversation who listens and learns, who can teach me things. Who accepts their core, though it is just one part of them. We grow and develop by interacting with different people, by learning new techniques, by exploring this world, our kinks and fantasies, meeting other people, sharing ideas. In saying all of this if I do not find the conversation is flowing or that we are meeting each others needs, I will not ghost you or go quietly into the night, I will acknowledge the fact that I am not the right domme, or the conversation is not working, wish you well and say goodbye. There is power in walking away and there is power in accepting that it’s just not going to work. There is also power in saying this not for you or we aren’t aligning. Is this a reflection on you? No it just means we have different needs.
I will end this splurge of thought with one finally thought, it is empowering to know what you want, to submit or to dominate but also be bold in knowing what you don’t want. And with that I look forward to many more interesting conversations