On a blog post by @Orgazmo, there is a post which says ‘A dominant accepts you for who you are and help you become who you should be’. This resonates very strongly with me, especially after conversations I have been having with two lovely subs over the past week or two. I am a firm believer that I am not there to judge, but there to support, to give guidance (and a firm hand when needed) to support a person to be who they are meant to be, to be confident within themselves, their wants and desires.
A blog on another site, written by a sub, commented how within any dynamic there needs to be the space for communication, to be open and to allow the sub to express themselves. I believe that this aligns with accepting who you are, and helping you become who you should be. We are not one or two dimensional. We are messy, loud, multi dimensional creatures and being a sub and wanting a dominant is one part of a person, like being a dominant and wanting a sub is one part of a dominant, though they may be integral to who we are. I love the sweet surrender of a submissive, the willingness and trust in handing over their control to me, knowing that they can be who they are and want to be and I will support and push (not boundaries) to be who they should be. Can this be both light and dark, joy and desire, pain and pleasure, submission and control? Why yes it can and that is in the beauty of accepting a sub for whom they are, to help them become who they can and should be.
I will end this slight ramble down a forest path, with this final thought, whilst in Italy earlier this year I met a lovely Italian man who I ended up talking to about ‘memento mori’ Latin for ‘you to have die’. This conversation led me to getting a tattoo the very next day, booked on a train whilst on the way to Pompeii, funny story, by an amazing tattoo artist (I was lucky cause it was not tourist season yet so they weren’t busy). The tattoo says ‘Memento Mori, Memento Vivere’ which roughly translates to ‘you have to die, so you have to live’. A reminder to myself to own and be who I am and to work towards being better and trying new things. A reminder of the duel dichotomy of life but there is, hopefully, a whole lot we can do in between.