One size doesn’t fit all

Don’t just ravish her…

- Penetrate her soul with your deep presence.

Don’t just ravish her…

- Transport her to another dimension.

Don’t just ravish her…

- Take her to other realms of existence.

Don’t just ravish her…

- Help her heart feel penetrated by the entire cosmos.

Don’t just ravish her…

- Help her ascend beyond the constructs of her mind.

Don’t just ravish her…

- Help her feel deeper connection to the Divine.

Don’t just ravish her…

- Awaken the next level of her consciousness.

Don’t just ravish her…

- Activate the next level of her dormant gifts.

Don’t just ravish her…

- Help her feel unconditional love that penetrates her entire being.

Don’t just ravish her…

- Help her dissolve her deepest fears with every conscious thrust.

Don’t just ravish her…

- Blow her open into the realms of infinite possibility.

Don’t just ravish her…

- Help her experience true oneness.

Don’t just ravish her…

- Take her places her soul has never journeyed to before.

This is where she submits & surrenders every fibre of her being, to you.

By Linda LuvDoktar

When I first started this journey. I was enamored by the poses and their purpose.

I am ex-military and a military brat. Attention, parade rest, a salute. They were in-grained and second nature.

My favorite? Nadu. I feel the most vulnerable and open in this pose. It is a pose of complete submission and trust. 
This position is calming and arousing all at once. My eyes cast downward, shoulders back, breasts thrust forward and my core open for his viewing pleasure and inspection. 
This pose to me is the epitome of submission. And it will always be my favorite.

Today is a calming day. A day of breath work and relaxation techniques with my calming playlist in the background. A mix of Celtic, Native American, Irish and Scottish, Nordic, Scandinavian, Indian and Middle Eastern instrumental songs. Glorious. Scrubbing my body until it’s smooth. Oiling and lotion and my layering scent that is uniquely me. 
A day of reflection and peace. 

Today I can breathe easier. Today I am calm. I am thankful for the support that I have. When everything seemed hopeless and the walls were caving in, you calmed me, brought me back to center and supported me in ways no one else can. And I a grateful. 
I know now to reach out before it becomes too much and before I spiral. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I always hope for a good day. Not today. Today was not a good day. Today was full of anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD flashbacks and a whole mess of emotional trauma that came to the surface. 
Today was me on the couch wrapped in a blanket rocking to calm myself down. Today was tears and screaming until my throat was sore. Today was biting my nails to ruin. Today was sweats, no makeup, hair in disarray and not giving a damn.

Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I will try to figure out how to fix the damage I caused my nails. Tomorrow I will put back on my big girl panties and face the day.  
But Not Today.

Sometimes a song can capture what words cannot.

It is amazing to walk the beach in the off season. The gentle waves coming to shore. The seagulls your only companions. You notice things. You can breathe deeper. It allows you to see the bigger picture. So close to this vast ocean you feel small, insignificant. And yet at peace. Just one person,  one bird, it’s reflection so clear on the wet sand. The breeze ruffling his feathers. You dare not disturb the tranquility. A small smile makes its way to your face as you take your photo. A few more seconds to take in the view, the calm. One last deep breath and I turn and walk away.

Sometimes I wonder about how individuals come up with the names they use on their profile here. It intrigues me quite frankly. It is personal, where it describes their state of mind or life event that made them who they are? It is the unimaginative or simple humble person? Is it the I just don’t give a f..k? Is it silly, creepy, or wishful thinking 🤭? But I always wonder. 

I started as one thing, and as I progressed and better understood myself and my journey, I changed it to depict that journey. We are ever evolving beings. We change, we learn, we grow. 
But still I wonder….what’s in a name?

Or it could be the 101 temperature screwing with my head. Who knows….

I have been on a journey. Rocky and filled with obstacles. Searching for my true self. After years of being beaten down, made to feel unloved and unwanted, I am finally learning I can’t glean my happiness from someone else. I must find my own happiness, my own light and my own strength.
I can’t make someone feel something that they don’t. I can only be myself. And if that isn’t good enough, then that is on them not me. 
In that same breath, I know that I have so much to give someone. So much love, joy and my utter submission. I need to be happy for me. Let the light I have inside me shine. When I accomplish this, then I have found my strength that was within me all along.

Another night without sleep. My cortisol levels are through the roof. I wish I had brought a sleeping aid with me. But alas, there is no sleep for the weary. No rest for the mind.
I miss him, even when I am supposed to be relaxing and enjoying myself at the beach with my friend, all I can think about is missing him.      
How do I just shut off a mind that is constantly going long enough to sleep a few hours? I know the crash will be horrific. The last time I went days without sleep, when I dropped from exhaustion I slept 12 hours. I will need a sleeping aid tonight otherwise the drive back will be brutal. 
I thought the walk on the beach and the fresh ocean air would help me sleep. I was wrong.