I never thought I would be one of those people that say they never saw the abuse coming......
I was raised to be smart and I also had to grow up fast. My mom was sick when I was a kid and my dad was always travelling for work, so I had to learn how to do things fast. My brother was was always the good one, the one would make my parents proud, he just did everything right, where as I was always the one to give my family a hard time, so when the dating and coming to terms with my kink years came around and someone paid attention to me, I thought it was a good thing... I was wrong!
He was nice to me and there were no red flags or warning signs going off saying he was a bad person. We had the same interests and wanted explore our kinks together. Hook line and sinker. The first time he hit me I didn't know what the hell to do. I was in shock and numb. He said it was because I didn't do something right or spoke without being ask to speak. This was his face he made to me, but to the outside world he was an angle. He got his brother and friends to join in when he got bored of me and yes they raped me multiple times, used me as their personal ashtray, craved "cunt" into my arm and beat me until I couldn't stand or fight back. They use to get off on the fact I would try and fight back.
I didn't see away out. To my family I was a disappointment, a. Girl who was killing her mom with the way she was acting and the daughter my dad never wanted. The police didn't believe, said there was no proof! This went on for years until one day I became pregnant.... I didn't know who the father was and I wasn't about to say anything.... Be some how the group found out and beat me until I lost the baby..... I wasn't strong enough to protect my baby and I will have to live with that for the rest of my life.
After that the beatings, burning, cutting and stalking got even worse... I was just so tired and alone.. It felt like a never ending circle, until one day I got out. I don't know how but I did and I thought that would be the end, I wrong yet again..
A few years went by and I moved around, it's what makes me feel safe, but for some reason they found me or well my ex did and that's how I got the 32 stitches. He said it was time that I come back to him, that I had my fun but now he was time to be his again, that I belonged to him. When I said no, he came at me with a knife. I was able to fight him off until help came and he got taken away..
Sounds crazy I know! Like something out of a bad movie or book, but no sadly that was my life and it hasn't been easy. But I am here picking myself up and doing what's best for me. I spent a sometime making sure that my kinks are something I really want to be comfortable with and the truth is I'm scared that history will repeat itself but I hope that I find something or someone I should say will accept me for who I am my baggage and damage and all.
Thank you Cage family and friends for supporting me and for making me feel safe to explore my kinks.
Much love,
Violet