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Not Ashamed Anymore

How do you start off one of those? Do you jump in with both feet or just float there hoping for the best?

Well for along time I was floater. I was ashamed of my needs and wants. I was already an outsider to my family and feeling what I was feeling, would it make it worse?

Then I thought if I step into this life and start looking for a Daddy, would I just been seen as another girl with daddy issues.

Its hard knowing you need something so deeply and badly and know it isn't the "normal". I'm not ashamed of myself anymore, but it does scare me. But here I am jumping with two fit in and I'm hoping to find the right Daddy for me.
6 years ago. Wednesday, March 6, 2019 at 9:08 AM

Good morning Cage Friends and Family!

I know my blogs have been really emotional lately! I've just been going through alot of changes and growing. Which are all scary and overwhelming! It's funny how much you can learn about yourself when you find the right people that love, help, support, guide and care about you.

I don't do good when people do care about or love me. It's just never been a thing with me, because I've never had that. People have always overlooked me in the past, the includes family. So I've had to do everything on my own since I was young.

Letting people help me in new and slowly I am beginning to let people help me. It's not easy with the depression and anxiety saying shut down and don't let people in because they will hurt you and that we are not worth it. 

Maybe that's why I like stuffies and I mean I have a lot, they are warm, safe and comforting for me. I'm not ashamed of it either.

It's not easy letting go of some of control that I have so tightly kept under lock and key. Giving someone that is making me feel not in control and maybe that's what I need. I need to take a step back, be human and remember what is it like to let go and breathe.

 

Violet ?

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