It’s been 9 days since my last orgasm… I joined this site 10 days into Locktober because I was just so consumed with pent up sexual energy and emotion that I just needed to find people who could relate.
This time is different. For Locktober it was more about how long I could last, and whether Alley would enjoy it. Now, it’s about how long Alley can last… And now, she definitely enjoys me being so enthralled by her and worse, she knows that I truly do enjoy it when SHE says I can’t cum. With that in mind, I truly have no clue when I’ll get to cum again.
Without the resignation of Locktober, I’m left to wonder. It’s the wondering that makes the slightest sexual encounter with Alley exciting, frustrating, arousing, and humiliating. How does the phrase go? “It’s when they want out that chastity really starts.” I’m not sure where I am yet. But I do know that I’m getting to the point of pathetic obsession.
Now, when Alley says she has a headache, I actually feel insecure, and worry she’s faking it. What if she is ashamed of me, and is actually seeing me as pathetic loser. What if she is repulsed by how small my dick looks locked up. What if… Ouch Ouch Ouch! God damn it really hurts when I feel an erection trying to form as my cage gives a firm “Not a Chance.” Now, when I grab lube, it’s usually just to get the base ring to stop pinching against my package.
I think I’m rambling now… the chastity delirium must be really setting in. Point is this new phase is both better… and worse. I don’t know if I want more to cum or to be denied. But I do know that, it doesn’t matter what I want… and that is what I really wanted all along.
ok bye.