Thoughts From A Sub

(Work of fiction)

“How do I look?”  I asked, as Stan stepped out of the shower. He looks so cute, shivering from the cold shower.  Water dripping from his short oak bark hair and full but tightly groomed beard. The flecks of gray on his temples is just starting to be noticeable.  Drips of water running down his olive nearly hairless chest and slight dad bod tummy.  First man I’ve ever met with full beard and head of hair but almost no natural chest or back hair. I can even see his iced perking nipples glaring at me.  His crotch is hairless too, but we keep that waxed to help his chastity cage fit comfortably…. And because I love how high pitched he screams when I do it.  I do love how the cold showers shrink his package down to the perfect fit of his 1 inch cage. He was always a grower not a shower but 1 inch is still extra snug.  But when he’s has a cold soak, the cage looks special made for him.  It almost guilty calling him Clit Dick or Pinky Penis because it feels too real. But that guilt fades when I see bits of precum dribble to the floor.

Funny, that I never even told him to take cold showers.  All it took was one night where I was upset that we were out of hot water, her just committed to cold water showers ever since.  Crazy to think that a few months ago he would’ve never done something like that for me.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s always been a great husband and father, but he likes his creature comforts.  But now he’s become so considerate and giving.  I haven’t had to do a load of laundry or wash single dish in months. Water at my bedside before bed, latte in its place when I wake with a soft kiss.

I don’t know how I expected to feel when he first asked to be locked up for longer than a couple hours in the bedroom. I also don’t know how I expected him to act, after being locked up.  I just know that I Did Not expect to feel guilty for taking advantage of his desperation. And I also Did Not expect that two weeks in he would be almost giddy at the chance to do something nice for me AT ALL TIMES.

4 months ago, if I’d ask him to take the trash out when he was already topping it off, you’d think I ruined his plans for the entire day.  Fast forward to 11:30pm last night, when I say, “hey, Stan?…” “boom!” He catapults out of bed with eager whisper, “yes, my love, you need some more water?, do I need to adjust the AC? Do you need any medicine?”… Seriously, who is this man?  I mean, of course, he still an assertive father with a commanding presence to our kids, and I can still talk to him about all our shared interests like normal. It’s not like he’s become a total slave to me.  It’s more like the energy and enthusiasm of 14 year old trying to impress his high school crush, but with the security and self-awareness of a man in his 30s.

And that’s what sparked this idea in my head. This was my chance to see what it was like to watch how a young Stan actually pursued women… but with a twist. He was always good with women. Before we became exclusive I knew he was also hooking up with a few other women. Not that he was bragging, he was just always direct and let me know where things stood. And then I told him, I kissed a guy we both knew… Turns out he was ok with the idea of seeing other people, until he saw other people seeing me.  And that was it. He broke it off with the other girls, deleted their numbers and blocked their socials. We moved in together 2 years later, and eloped 2 years after that.

He’s always been loyal and faithful. But although we always did some role playing, I didn’t realize just how deeply he wanted to be submissive. I didn’t realize how aroused it would make him to give him orders rather than make requests. I didn’t realize how turned on he would be when I told him he had a tiny cock, that couldn’t satisfy me.  And I certainly didn’t realize that locking him in chastity and taking full control of his orgasms, would make him the happiest I’ve seen him in years.  Before he gave me his keys, he was clearly suffering from depression with thoughts of self-harm.  I asked him what’s change and he said “the thoughts of harm have been replaced with thoughts of pleasing you and your perfect pussy.” Damn… I’ve really got him wrapped don’t I?

“Ummm…. Well, you look fucking stunning, but the thing is…” he stammered as a miniature Victoria Falls began to flow between his legs… i smiled at his adorable face, “Too much?”  “Wayyyy too much. Besides being a distraction for me, we don’t want others to think you’re more than a friend or work colleague.  That’s why I asked Jeff to come, he was always a good wingman in grad school.  He’ll be able to explain what I’m doing and why, and let you know when is a safe point to help and engage without disrupting.”

“So, instead of the little black dress, grab your cream pencil skirt, and flowery blouse, put your hair up in a clip, remove the press on nails and lipstick. You want to look cute but not like you’re looking for a guy. Oh and wear flats, becau….” his commanding tone faded as his he finally, noticed my “excuse me” face. “because… well these are really just suggestions, mam. If you feel like wearing the little black dress, then it’ll be perfect night for me. Honestly.” there was that nervous simp I’ve grown accustom to. “Hehe oh I’m sure it would be. No, you’re right. Thank you for the unsolicited yet clever advice. Don’t do it again. Ok? Say, “yes, mam.” “Yes, Mam.” He blurted out almost ready to salute.

“But before I change and you get dressed, we need to do something.” I glided my way toward his hips pull the key off my charm bracelet, and slowly unlocked him. “There we go. Ohhh look at that still a little cold, ehh? Though, you know it has been a month since you’ve been unlocked. You might be in limp microdick mode until at least tomorrow.  Oh that reminds me.” I reached into dresser and pulled out some lidocaine cream. “Here rub this all over your clitty.  You may still be a Casanova when it comes to flirting, but it’s this house has been Casa No Vag for you for so long, you might just cum in your pant mid conversation. I don’t care how much you know, there is no spinning that.”

15 minutes pass and I’m all changed into business attire, as Stan comes out in his charcoal suit, poplin white shirt and his hot pink tie in full Windsor just ever so slightly loosened. “Well… this is it.” He said nervously. “You sure you want me to do this? It’s been a long time, and I might just give off middle aged dad energy. Plus… what if a girl does want me to take her to my hotel room?  Do you actually want me to go all the way?”  “We’ll cross that bridge when we cum to it. But for now” I grabbed him by the tie, pulled him to my mouth and pressed against his succulent lips as his mustache tickled my nose. I reached down toward his crotch and clasp his balls like a vice. “Don’t forget to whom, this really belongs… got it?” “Yes,mam” he squeaked. And off we went… still time to change my mind. But that ain’t happening,  I’m aroused with curiosity. And even more excited to see his face when he discovers the plot twist I have plan. ***smiling ear to ear***

To be continued.

(Work of fiction)

“Do you ever miss flirting and dating?”  Alley asked casually as I placed her latte on the table.  “Of course not!” I adamantly stated. Why would I want to go back to dating in hopes of finding the perfect goddess, when I was barely lucky enough to find you?”

Alley smirked and rolled her eyes. “Well, obviously… oh look at you all flustered… this wasn’t a trick question. Come.” **snap-snap** Her fingers went at me, and then she pointed them to the floor.  I rushed to my knees approaching but not touching her lap.  “Yes, mam” I pattered.  She combed her fingers through my hair with one hand while resting the other on my shoulder. “I wasn’t asking if you wanted to divorce. I’m just curious, if you look back on single life fondly. Did you find flirting and dating fun?” “Well, I…” **slap** I felt across my face, clearly not to hurt me but to get my attention.  “Do Not qualify your answer. I get it, you love me. You worship me. When you close your eyes and think of pussy, you can only picture mine… just give me a simple “yes/no” answer.”

“Yes,” I admitted. “I did enjoy it.”

“What was so fun about it? I know it’s been years, and you’re a completely different person but tell me what you remember.”

I thought nervously about how to respond, “Well when I was in high school constantly being worried about what other thought, I hated it. But when I moved away for school and got to start new, I just enjoyed the challenge. Approaching woman I didn’t know, seeing if I could make her laugh… well, laugh With me, not At me. I always used to say that my impression of a woman was “I’m Laughing, I’m Laughing I’m Laughing, I’m Naked.” Then seeing how much I could get to know her, both by what she’d say and what she didn’t say.”

“Things she didn’t say?” Alley questioned.

“Yeah, you know… cold reading. Making educated guesses based on subtle observations… like I did with you.” I stated matter of factly.

“You did that to me?” She said both confused and stunned.

“Of course!” Remember that the first morning of that conference retreat when we met? You and I were the only ones up. 5:30 am and your wavy blonde hair already looked perfect framing your milk and honey toned face with your ocean blue begging any want who sees them to come for a swim. And I pointed out the chess board and asked you to play while we waited for everyone else. We got to chatting as we played, we talked about our families and you said that although you love your family they can be frustrating. And I said, “They underestimate you a bit don’t they.””

Alley interrupted confused, “Wait, hold on. How did you know my family underestimates me?”

“Cold reading” I said amusingly. “You’ve got Barbie good looks, and are able to look stunning first thing in the morning. Unfortunately, pretty privilege for blondes comes with bimbo assumption. And yet, when I asked you to play chess you casually said, yes. Not that chess is the hardest game but most actual bimbos just assume it’s hard and never learn. You both knew how to play but also didn’t care about the outcome of the game.  You are gorgeous, intelligent and secure in both qualities.  Forget your family, most people would underestimate you.”

“Wow…” she said astounded. “See, this is why I asked. The other ladies at book club were talking about how goofy their husbands were when they started dating. I said that I just remembered you being incredibly charming yet sincere. It made me wonder what it would be like to watch you tried to flirt and bring a woman to bed today…”

Sweat began to form over my brow, “I don’t know… it’s been over a decade since we became exclusive. I’m out of practice. Plus why would I want to?”

Alley rested both hands on my shoulders smiled at me, and dug her nails into my skin, “because I said so, sweetie… that’s why.”

“Ahhh owww ok! Yes, mam. So, what? You want me to go up to woman one night at a bar as you watch?”

“yeah, I’m curious to see if you still got it. To see if you can still act like the suave man I met a decade ago, rather than the pathetic beta simp that you’ve become in recent years.”

“Uhhhhhh….” I moaned as I was suddenly reminded of my situation and pre-cum leaked through my cage. It’s when I don’t expect her piercing insults that my body turns on me most. “If that’s w-what you w-want.”  I meekly muttered.

“Hehe… Oh it is my little dear.” she grinned. “I want you to put on the charm as I watch.  I can’t wait to see what happens… If you get a girl all the way back to the hotel, you better tell me all about it.”

“Wait what?” I questioned, “you want me to go to a hotel with another woman?”

“Yes.” Alley said, “before we go out tonight, I’ll unlock you.  It’ll help you get into your old mindset.”   

Unlock me??? I don’t think I’ve been outside the house unlocked in two years. What is going on? What game is she playing? She doesn’t really want me to cheat on her does she? Or maybe she assumes I’ll fail? That has to be it.

Alley slapped me again and said, “oh and just so you don’t intentionally get shut down, if you aren’t successfully able to pick someone up and take them to a hotel, then it’s one full month locked. You will not get to touch me at all. You will not get to watch me touch me at all.  Understood?”

“Y-yes, mam.” I said, Ok, so intentional failure isn’t the plan.” I thought. “What the fuck is she up to?” I was left pondering the situation as I could feel an erection hopelessly trying to burst through.  I don’t know what she is trying to get out of this… but I think it’s working.

To be continued…

It’s been 9 days since my last orgasm… I joined this site 10 days into Locktober because I was just so consumed with pent up sexual energy and emotion that I just needed to find people who could relate. 

This time is different. For Locktober it was more about how long I could last, and whether Alley would enjoy it. Now, it’s about how long Alley can last… And now, she definitely enjoys me being so enthralled by her and worse, she knows that I truly do enjoy it when SHE says I can’t cum. With that in mind, I truly have no clue when I’ll get to cum again. 

Without the resignation of Locktober, I’m left to wonder. It’s the wondering that makes the slightest sexual encounter with Alley exciting, frustrating, arousing, and humiliating.  How does the phrase go? “It’s when they want out that chastity really starts.”  I’m not sure where I am yet. But I do know that I’m getting to the point of pathetic obsession.  

Now, when Alley says she has a headache, I actually feel insecure, and worry she’s faking it. What if she is ashamed of me, and is actually seeing me as pathetic loser.  What if she is repulsed by how small my dick looks locked up. What if… Ouch Ouch Ouch! God damn it really hurts when I feel an erection trying to form as my cage gives a firm “Not a Chance.”  Now, when I grab lube, it’s usually just to get the base ring to stop pinching against my package. 

I think I’m rambling now… the chastity delirium must be really setting in. Point is this new phase is both better… and worse. I don’t know if I want more to cum or to be denied. But I do know that, it doesn’t matter what I want… and that is what I really wanted all along.  

ok bye.

Well Locktober has come and gone.  31 days without an orgasm. Definitely, an eye opening experience to be certain.  On November 1st, Alley and I woke to a quiet house. Our daughter had stayed with the grandparents.  We had the morning to ourselves and boy did we.  

I woke and prepped Alley’s latte just as she liked it. To be honest, there were some moments I was absolutely excited about what was to come (Or who). But, there were other moments like as I prepped the latte that I almost forgot… not sure if that was the right word, but I had in a way grown adjusted to the circumstances as things became more routine.

but as Alley finished her latte, she spread opened her legs buried under robe and curled her finger for me to come.  I needed no instruction. I knew what I was there to do. I got on my knees, slowly kissing her inner thighs, left and right, left and right. Inch by inch I crept toward her ln a zig zag fashion like a bee to a blossom. And just as my tongue reached to taste her nectar I heard another buzz.  Suddenly I saw her purple vibratory pressed against her pistil.

 “You want to taste?” She asked.  

“Yes, fuck!, please I want to taste, you know I love the way you taste!” 

“But is that all you want?  Because I can give that to you if that is all you want… but you’re expecting more today aren’t you?”

”I…I…I oh god” I was overwhelmed and filled with mixed feelings. Of course I wanted to cum. I desperately wanted to cum… but I didn’t want to stop wanting to cum.

“Here… since it’s been so long, let me finish myself, and you can watch for refresher course…I’ll be disappointed if you’re so excited you finish before me… and let’s be honest babe! You’re great at what you do… and I do miss feeling you thrusting inside me… but you can’t do me like I can do me… nobody can do me like I can do me.  So watch and learn.” 

I stood there wearing nothing but my cage.  I don’t even remember taking off my clothes. hearing her moan as I watched. I felt like a fan at the edge of his seat hoping and praying his team wins the championship.  And then it happened, home run. She made that exquisite gasp that I love to hear. I was so exhausted that I had almost forgot.

“come here…” she whispered. She pulled the key from her drawer told me to lay down on the bed. She handed me the key and said, “well, Go ahead…” I placed the key inside my the lock, slowly turned the key and slowly began to remove the cage, and handing the pieces to Alley.

I didn’t know what to do, next… but alley did. Slowly she pressed her lips against the tip of my cock. To be honest, I had been so long, I wasn’t certain it would get erected that quickly… but there it was full mast. Same as it ever was… I was kinda surprised that it was ever able to fit in such a tight cage. For those curious, I’m 6.8 in length and 5.6 in circumference when erect. That said, I’m a grower not a shower, and I honestly prefer the smaller cages for discretion/humiliation purposes. So, my is 1.5 inches in length and 1.3 inches in circumference.  

and back and forth Alley went, alternating between her mouth and hand. It felt so incredible, I couldn’t believe I wasn’t cumming then and there. I truly lack the words to describe, just how exquisite her hand and mouth felt. All I can say is that in the past, it’s usually Alley who gets so overwhelmed we need to stop.  It took everything in my power to not beg her to stop because it felt overwhelming. And just then… she pulled out a condom. Tore it open and told me to put it on.  She turned over on her back. And told me that I have 45 seconds to cum while inside her.  I sprung into action. Of course I wouldn’t take that long. I was surprised I’ve already lasted this long.
And slowly I thrusted into her. Oohhhh God!!! Even with the condom I could feel the perfect walls grasping around me that I remember so well… she began to moan as well. It was like old times, it was perfect. Her pussy is perfect. And then I felt a push on my chest.

She said in a panted voice… “ok you’re going to need to finish yourself. Hurry up, we have to get ready to head out soon.”  Normally I would’ve been upset by this, but I had become so accustomed to just doing as she said that I immediately began stroking as she watched. The satisfied smirk on her face.  “You better hurry, and finish or I’ll lock you back up….”  And that was all it took… her putting the idea of being locked up in my head, was all I needed to cum vigorously. Semen flowing out of me of like the river meeting the falls…

And that was it. She cleaned up and  got ready. I cleaned up and got ready. And out the door we went.  I honestly wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, I had cum. I was satiated. I didn’t feel the urge to be locked up again, and she didn’t seem interested in me continuing to be locked up.  I guessed it was fun, but now we’re going back to normal. To be honest I wasn’t really sure how I felt. 

1 week later: 

my folks offered to watch the kids so we could have a date night.  We got reservations at restaurant by the lake front. Had a wonderful meal and then decided to go for a walk.

“You know…” she brought up, “you’ve been pretty mean this week. Were you intentionally just being extra mean?”  

“No, not at all. I’ve just been tired. And come on I’ve still been making you coffee when you ask. And I’ve still been pretty affectionate.” 

“have you been masturbating at night?”

”yes…  I mean you’ve been going to bead early, don’t seem like you were in the mood. Honestly, you say I’ve been pretty mean, but I think you just got overly accustomed to how attentive I was while in chastity for so long. I think that became your new normal.”

”oh my god, you want me to lock you back up to you??? It hasn’t been a week and you want to be locked back up, 

“To be honest, I don’t want to be locked up as much as I want you to want to lock me up.” 

“she smiled…I do miss not having to ask for my lattes, and you honestly do the laundry better than me. Tell you what let’s go home and have some fun before picking the kids and we’ll see how we feel afterwards.” 

we arrived home ripped each other clothes off and got straight to fucking. This time with no condom, just ravaging each other like when we first got. Together. 15 minutes in she began to climax! I continued to thrust hoping to finish and maybe even take her to the peak one more time. And then she panted:

“hey! We need to go! Are you almost there?”  

“Yeah, sorry. Give me a minute. I masturbated this morning so, it might take a bit.”

”hahahaha ohhh did you now??” She pushed me off her… “Well, since we’ve both got to finish today, we’re even.”

She reached for her drawer pulled out my cage. “ hop in the cold shower and Put this back on.” She left the room. I paused. Still panting considering whether or not to finish myself. “I mean if I’m quick I can finish in 30 seconds. It’s just a game anyway, and it’ll help me get soft faster.” In my head debating whether or not to finish, and then I realize I’m standing in the cold shower, watching my dick steadily go limp.  I dried off, put my cage on, locked it and walked to the other room to hand her the key.

”I better not have to ask for my latte tomorrow.”

it’s been 3 days since and she has not had to ask. It’s only today that I’m really starting to feel the urge, the frustration, the desire to please her. But this time… I honestly have no clue when it’ll end. This time when she says she’ll play with me… I don’t know what that entails. For the first time I have no clue how long it will be before my next orgasm… And I Love It!!!! 

ok bye.

Today is the last day of Locktober. I’ll be honest, I’m filled with mixed emotions. I’m as excited about the idea of fucking my wife tomorrow as I was when I lost my virginity. I’m also as nervous about it as I was when I lost my virginity. I’m also having doubts about it and what happens next… just like when I lost my virginity.  

No, I don’t think there is more than a 1% chance that she decides to keep me locked up for November. Though the idea of it is making even this sentence difficult to type.  

That said, this morning something happened which made me think Alley, (we’ll call my wife Alley going forward.)… which made me think Alley has really started to embrace her dominant side. And I think that at least when it comes to her, chastity has made me truly submissive.   

Alley had been working on Halloween basket for our daughter and asked me to do the finishing touches which required some soldering. 3 days ago I told her I would but I didn’t have the chance to get started until last night. I woke up at 5am this morning to finish it. And ran into some hiccups. It was becoming clear to me that this part should’ve been done before we painted the basket, and trying to do it now is just going to ruin Alley’s beautiful work. 

so I broke the news to her. I apologized and said “it’s just not possible at this point because…” 

she cut me off, calmly but furiously saying, “ told you 3 days ago to do this and now we don’t have time to fix it…”

I was immediately offended yelling,  “I didn’t have time to do it earlier between the…” 

she cut me off again… “stop yelling.”

I tried again to speaking calmly, “I didn’t have…”

”Walk AWAY…” she said as much with her eyes as with her calm stern voice.”   

My eyes widened! I stared at her! Clearly in a pressing down my rage… I was pissed! I was furious! I was insulted!  I was… leaking…A LOT… I was walking away? I was speechless… I was angry. I reached for her mug to make her latte then put it in the sink and walked away, to get dressed for work. 

I didn’t know what to think. Everytime my wife turned me on by being mean, it was always part of the role play. She was never really mad. This time she was really mad, and I was really mad. And I was really…really… horny… desperate…but I wasn’t going to admit that to her. I wasn’t being appreciated.  So I got dressed, folded laundry and just sat there. 

Alley came up to me. Explained her side calmly and lovingly. I explained my side calmly and lovingly. We gave each other a kiss, and we both apologized…

Then she looked at me square in the eye and said… “You came a little when I ordered you to walk away… didn’t you?”  fuck fuck fuck (precum pouring out of my cage)…. “Don’t you ever refuse to make my latte without permission again.  You’re going to be punished for that.”  Fuck fuck fuck…. That awareness of her power over me; the embarrassment of how obvious it was to her that I was leaking; and the smirk on her face showing she clearly relished that power. It was too much. I couldn’t take it anymore, I want to cum sooo fucking bad… but I also don’t want this to end… 

All I know is, that we’re going to have a long talk tomorrow about how to proceed… Damn! I Fucking Love This Woman.

… And that way late at night she’ll always have me in a stupor. 

as we reenact the raunchy bits from the works of Jilly Cooper

See… some guys prefer asses. Some prefer tits. 

and I am not saying that I don’t like those bits…

but what’s more important…What supersedes… 

is a girl with passion, wit, and dreams. 

so, I like a girl who reads.

Ok… if you read the title you either 100% agree or you think I’m way out of left field and think it’s just a movie about Stockholm syndrome. If you’re in the latter group, well be my guest and explore with me how all Beast needed was a strong stern woman with high her own mind and high standards.  

As we all know, Beast starts out as a prince, who is turned into a Beast by an enchantress, because at first glance she did not meet the standards for beauty.  He was so spoiled that he was unable to appreciate simple rose as gift. But 

 1. Beast is a 21 year old virgin:  It’s only mentioned in passing but the rules of the spell are that Beast needs to love someone and earn their love in return by his 21st birthday. In the song “Be Our Guest” Lumiere says they’ve been under the spell for nearly 10 years.  So this guy has basically been going through the most horrific version of puberty possible for ten years straight. And given the different animals he’s made of… his dick might actually be spiky… The point is, he’s gotta rely on his personality.

He is surrounded by servants: Beast has nobody telling him, No. Nobody challenging him to present himself appropriately.  He does not know how to be of service to anyone, and that has only lead to rage and antisocial behavior.
Saving Belle from the wolves was his first act of service:  Beast putting his life at risk to save Belle, not only showed Belle that he can think of others over himself, it was also the moment Beast received genuine comfort of the human touch in a decade at least.  From this moment on he puts Belles needs before his constantly, he grooms and dresses better, he provides her with books to nurture her mind, he has an intimate dance that he never pursues any further. And finally, he dooms himself to a sexless existence just so Belle could help her father.
Belle is Different because she is independent: the town judges Belle as being odd. But what’s odd about her is that she thinks for herself, and is unbothered by the expectations of others. She supported her father and made her own decision to be prisoner in his place. (Belles mom was probably a domme too)
The Antagonist is a Dom who wants Belle to be his Sub:  The entire arc of Gaston is him trying to get Belle to submit. But she won’t submit, because she isn’t submissive at heart.
The Rose is a vagina:  the symbol of beast’s curse is a blooming rose, encased in glass, kept eternally away from him. Until he finds his own blooming rose and earns her affection, his existence is just eternal orgasm denial.

I’m sure there is more but. I think this lays it out clearly that Beast is Belle’s sub dedicated in showing his love with acts of service while her way of showing love is just blessing him with the honor of her presence.

One last thing… given the context of the D/s relationship I laid out… Is anybody else curious about what the grey stuff is that’s so delicious???

This is going to be a shorter update, but one thing I’ve noticed is my desire to watch porn has greatly declined. And for me that’s a good thing.  I’m in no way saying that I think pornography is bad and I certainly don’t disparage sex work. On principle I wish all sex work were legal, to ensure worker protections. 

all that said, I do think that in so many realms of life, technology has resulted in too little friction when it comes to porn, online gambling, investing etc.  Basically if it’s something that is best done in moderation, the lack of friction makes it overindulgence nearly impossible to prevent.  

Think about it, we could all use a little lube to help things move smoothly, but it’s kinda hard to get a grip if there isn’t any friction to hold on to. And for me, I think the easy access to porn had impacted my imagination. But now, 24 days without cumming, it’s made it just nice to fantasize about what treats my wife might have planned, or what November first will feel like. 

also, if you haven’t seen the movie Don John I recommend it. It has a great message about how porn and even romance media, gives us not just an unrealistic expectation of what love and sex should be, but also the pursuit of that ideal makes us unable to enjoy the messiness of reality. 

I guess this post wasn’t too short.  

ok bye

Three weeks… Three friggin weeks… honestly the last few days have been relatively easy (couldn’t have gotten much harder).  But this morning… I think that there is something about 3 full weeks since my last real orgasm, is messing with my head. I don’t think I’m descending back into delirium but I’m definitely feeling a slight buzz.

For those of you unfamiliar when I say “real orgasm” there have been a few occasions when I’ve had a ruined orgasm and prostate milking.  Feel free to look up the details on your own, but in terms of what they both ultimately feel like when it’s all said and done, think of it like having the gas in your car siphoned off.  Yes, the tank is empty now, but I didn’t really get anywhere.

If you need another analogy, if you’re a game of thrones  fan, a ruined orgasm or milking is like the final season of GOT, while no orgasm at all is waiting on winds of winter to come out.  Yes, we got an ending to the show, but it was completely unsatisfying, and at least with the book, we still got something to look forward to, 

The good news is my wife finally got cleared by the doctor that she is healed enough from giving birth for penetration.  She told me “Maybe I’ll let you inside me in ten days. Maybe I’ll just let you take care of yourself. Maybe… we’ll just see what No Nut November is like…we’ll see how I feel. Make me another latte.”  She’s really starting to get the rhythm. I honestly think she’s really starting to enjoy expressing her dominant side. 

I know many struggle to appreciate why a male sub can be so into soft femdom.  I mean my wife doesn’t get physical. Most of it is teasing, power exchange and a little humiliation play.  Well, to be honest, I’m not really sure why this subtle stuff works on me… all I know is that for three weeks straight making coffee for my wife has given me as much satisfaction as waking up to a 30 second BJ. Not enough to satisfy me but it sure gets my day started off well. So, my kink at least wins in terms of convenience.  

see ya in a bit for part 2… ok, bye.

Shout to Kinked Brutus for providing the questions.  

I tried to give context when the answer called for it. 

I was 21. Up until that point I was saving myself for marriage.  But my girlfriend cheated on me. I almost immediately slept with the next girl I dated.

2. Rough or soft sex?

I like Ebbs and Flows of both.  If you ever go back and forth between plunging in a cold pool and relaxing in a hot tub, you know what makes the combo exquisite.

3. Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

I love chastity and orgasm denial. 3-5 day minimum depending on how much teasing goes on in the process.

4. Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

Closed miniature amusement park in a post Soviet Country.

5. Favorite sex position?  Reverse face sitting while she teases my cock.

6. Are you a Dom or a Sub?

Sub

7. Any one night stands?

Not sense I found my true love, but I had my fair share in my 20s

8. Sex on bed, couch , or floor?

Whichever puts me in the best position to please her.

9. Ever had sex in public places?

Yes, but not when people were actually around.

10. Ever been caught masturbating?

I want to say I must have been a few times, but I’m honestly not recalling any specific moments.

11. What does your favorite underwear look like?

Tight green briefs that cradle my wife’s property (my cock)  in a way that pleases her.

12. How often do you have sex?

My wife and I engage in sexual activities a few times a week.  But in terms of how often I’m allowed to penetrate my wife… not very often.  Maybe once every month or two.

13. Is there anyone you’d want to have sex with currently?  At the time of this post it’s middle of Locktober, so… My wife… the thought of being inside her is consuming 60% of my brain power.

14. Do you prefer to give or receive oral?

Give!!! I love the taste, scent and sound of giving her oral.

15. Most embarrassing thing you’ve had happen to you during sex? Had sex in a Tent that was on an incline. I accidentally slipped out of her and the tent. I don’t think anyone actually saw, but not sure.

16. Song you like to listen to during rough/kinky sex?

Royals by Lorde

17. Song for soft/slow/passionate sex?

Either Bowsprit by Balmorea or Accoustic by Billy Rafoul.

18. Are you into dressing up for sex?

Yes, please!!!

19. Sex in the bath or shower?

Depends on the shape of both but probably shower.

20. If you could have sex with someone right now who would it be?

See question 13.

21. Ever had a threesome? If not would you?

No, I want all my attention devoted to one person.

22. Do you/would you use sex toys?

Would and Do.

23. Ever sent anyone a dirty picture?

Absolutely, not. No judgement to those that do but that opens a door to hackers I’d rather leave closed. My wife experienced one of the outcome of that while in high school.

24. Would you have sex with your best friend? I married her.

25. Is there anything you do after sex?

Nothing consistent enough to call it a pattern.

26. Something that always gets you horny?

Small Penis Humiliation.

27. Early morning or late night sex?

Early morning.

28. Favorite body part of opposite sex?

Pussy and ass.

29. Favorite part of same sex?

Muscles.

30. Do you watch porn?

Yes. Though trying to cut down. It’s messing with my creativity of thought.

31. Favorite kind of kink activity?

Long term Chastity, humiliation, and orgasm denial.

32. What triggered your love of kink and when? I think it was years of being intimate trying to please a woman while still waiting until marriage. To then switch to sex with every partner got predictable and boring. And I think I’ve always been aroused by humiliation.