Some blog posts are harder to write than others. As I always write with my heart, this time is a bit harder.
I don't know about you, friends, but when someone is disappointed in me, I take it very personally. Well, that isn't completely true either. Lets try that again.. When someone IMPORTANT to me expresses disappointment in me, I take it very very personally. It hits me hard. And I HATE the feeling. It is a punishment all on its own.
Yesterday, I learned that I disappointed someone VERY dear to me. I am thankful they respected me enough to be honest with me, even though it hurt like hell. I had a pit in my stomach and tears in my eyes. (And down my cheeks) I always tease that my eyes are prettier when I cry because they look like the ocean, but there wasn't anything pretty about the tears or my eyes. Not this time.
You see, I wanted to defend myself. Even tried to, but the evidence was not in my favor. Don't get me wrong, what happened was not intentional and not meant to hurt, but it was still terribly wrong.
Loose lips sink ships- and my conversations with another friend got shared with someone. (Again, not maliciously or with intent to hurt.) And then the conversations came back to the person I hold dear. Either way, it isn't about the conversations being shared, it truly centered on the fact that I should NEVER have shared what I did. Sometimes experiences are meant to be shared with others and sometimes they are not. The devil is in the details.
While I am still very sad, I remain hopeful. Hopeful to restore what was broken, hopeful for what lies ahead. And I will take it and learn from it-grow from it. Become a better person for it. I have said and truly mean my apologies, and in time things will be better.
If you have read to the end, my friends, if you are wanting more details then I am afraid you missed the point. Completely. 🤦and please don't make assumptions that you know the what and the who.
Find someone to encourage today. Go forward with integrity that sparkles. Move in that direction that brings out the best in you. 💖
