Can someone help me? Please help me
They say a broken heart can be deadly
Don't tell me we were meant to be
This is far from a fairy tale endin'
I went on a date Saturday night. I wasn't expecting it so I felt anxious. we've been online friends for a while, funny enough, he posted in a group on Facebook that he was struggling and I reached out to him and told him he wasn't alone.
dinner went well, we came back to my house to smoke a joint. he stayed about long enough for that before he said he had to go suddenly. after he got home, it became that I was too intimidating. ?!
I have a home, my bills are paid and I'm not a damsel in distress on paper.
I told another friend, he said he could see that. he had also reached out to me about Saturday (distance keeps us apart, and I have more questions) I left a hideakey for him. I woke up close to 2am with his arms scooping me up and holding me so tight. he's held back on that, knowing it's more of what I crave and he isn't ready for me. I can feel it. but knowing I was asleep, I think maybe part of him couldn't resist. before I could fully wake up he had us making a mess of the bed before I drifted off asleep again, with my chubby cheeks pressed against his chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart and his breathing, something to focus on that felt so good.
I can't trust him with my heart. I don't think that we are aligned in some things but I have daydreamed about it.
much like I've daydreamed about you. over and over again, hoping that someday you'll say you're on your way. or that you're getting me out of here. I often think that the day won't be here and I should be the one to close the chapter before you do and shatter my heart but I can't do it.
I love you too much