What do the roles mean? How do you find the right person for you? What's the nature of your dynamic going to be? IF this is something that you truly feel you want for your life then give yourself the benefit of doing research. Read! I am a firm believer that knowledge is power. The more you know, the better decisions you can make for yourself.
There are some great books to help you learn more and help understand yourself. Before you even begin to start "living the lifestyle" do your due diligence. You owe that to yourself. And research both dynamics so you have at least the basic understanding of what both Domimant and submissive mean at their core. What are the core characteristics and expectations of a Dom? Submissive? Once you've done some research, start talking to other people...both Doms and subs alike.
Take EVERYTHING with a grain of salt. Even with those you agree with and relate to!! Everyone is different and we all react differently based on our experiences.
BUT for goodness sake .. when seeking advice.. make sure you're seeking advice from people with some experience and maturity in the life, NOT from someone who is new ... who is still trying to figure it out for themselves as well. Wisdom grows from experience.
Even reading books and articles cannot prepare you for taking that first step to actively pursuing this life. It is overwhelming, exciting, intoxicating, scary as hell ... and most definitely will be NOTHING like you expected. Seek out people who have actually been living it for some time... NOT someone who has just started a few weeks into it. Some may appear to have it together and know what they're talking about. It's pretty easy to copy and paste into a blog as to what to expect in a dynamic.
The best way to figure out if those people have true integrity????
Take the time to OBSERVE!! Watch, quietly ... how do they interact with others? Are they respectful of people, whether they agree with them or not? Or do they flex their muscles? Puff up and beat on their chests to prove they are superior? (both Dom and subs do this)
Are they overbearing with people ... "that need to put in their place" ? Do they bounce from one Dom (or sub) to another? Do they seem to shout from their blogs or comments "I am an authoritarian about this ... you should listen to me!"
Take the time to know the people you wish to surround yourself with.
Doms and subs alike ... give yourself some real time to learn about someone new that you may be interested in. TAKE TIME to know they are a good match for you and will be a strength in the dynamic.
In my life, I've come to learn it is not the ones who feel the need to shout their opinions to be the ones to listen to. No, I have found the ones who are quiet, respectful of all, to be the best mentors, teachers, confidants.
What is a Dom?
When a submissive gives up control, you are choosing (it is ALWAYS your choice) to give your Daddy/Sir/Master/Domme total control, within your agreed limits.
KNOW who you are submitting to and what their expectations are based on the kind of Dom they are. If you are in RL, be careful .. you are the one taking all the physical risks!! BE PICKY!!
Ask questions. Is this Dom a Master? A Daddy? Sir? Monogamous? Poly? Does He have other subs? Is he looking for exclusivity? Are you? Take the time to learn all His kinks. Make sure they fall within your kinks and desires.
Take your time for all of the questions and soooo many more! And guess what?? It takes more than just a few days or a week to learn all this. Don't rush into something, be collared only to discover you weren't a good match from the start. I see so many new subs collared within days, a week ... then uncollared, and collared again. You do not have to be collared while searching for the one who is a good match for you. Learn about yourself before you get to that point.
Again, the control you give up is your choice. But the true essence of that total power exchange is you ARE giving another person control over you! Your mind and your body.
Be willing to take the time to learn more about the person you are going to give that control to.
Good luck in your journey ... even if you don't think that's what it is ... you will discover ... it truly is.
❤❤❤
